


We Share A Bond, You And I

by Chipper99



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Dyad (Star Wars), Post-Canon, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Redeemed Ben Solo, Resurrection, Soft Ben Solo, Spoilers, Star Wars: The Force Awakens Spoilers, Star Wars: The Last Jedi Spoilers, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:41:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22201234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chipper99/pseuds/Chipper99
Summary: She would mourn, but only for a while. She had no clue how or even it was possible, but she was sure, no, she vowed, she would do everything in her power to find the future her vision had promised her.She would find a way to bring Ben Solo back.***A fix it fic that ended up way longer than intended, set after the events of TROS, detailing how Rey searches across the galaxy, their bond, and herself, for an answer she isn't even sure exists.A way to bring back the dead.A way to bring back Ben Solo
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 9
Kudos: 118





	We Share A Bond, You And I

**Author's Note:**

> Ben Solo deserved better.

Happy. Everyone was happy.

As they rightfully should be, Rey thought. The mission had been damn near suicide, built on nothing but hope. Hope that there would still be others out there that _believed._ Believed in the resistance. Believed that, somehow, in some way, they would win this fight, win this war.

The odds had been stacked against them, in every step of the way  
Yet, somehow, here they stood, with the First Orders command burnt to a crisp, and the Final Order having been put down before it could even be born.

And Emperor Palpatine, her... Her _grandfather,_ a threat that loomed in the shadows, without them even knowing, was seemingly gone. The threat no more.

As she clambered out of the cockpit of Luke's Star-Fighter, dropping down hard onto the surface of Ajan Kloss, it was no surprise to see the absolute joy on everyone's faces; the obvious disbelief in their features as they embraced family and loved ones, a clear message of 'I can't believe we pulled this off.'

So, when seconds later she found herself engulfed in the arms of Finn and Poe, tears of relief and sheer _joy_ in their eyes as they squeezed her tight, she let herself have this moment. Let the tears that had been burning behind her eyelids slip free.

And of course, this way, no one would ask questions. No one would stop her with a confused expression, ask why she was crying when it was a time for celebration, because these tears could easily be taken as tears of relief, just like many others.

Because yes, she would be lying if she said she wasn't relieved for it all to be over.

That didn't stop the ache she felt, deep down to her very core. Nor did it replace the awful whisper in her head, the constant reminder that she just couldn't seem to get away from.

_He's gone. Ben Solo is dead_

And every time, the reminder was just as harsh. Just as painful as when she felt the bond, that constant hum that was forged between them, seemingly go numb and fade away, just as Ben had himself.

So, she was glad to have this time, this distraction, to shed tears for the man she thought she could save, for the man she had envisioned standing by her side; not as Kylo Ren, but as _Ben Solo_ , son of Leia Organa and Han Solo. Yet, with all her visions, she had never imagined _this._ Never imagined there would be a time where he stood by her side, only to die by it as well.

No. She couldn't see it, and that's exactly why she wouldn't _accept_ it. She may give herself this time, this small slim chance to mourn, but as she allowed herself to recover in the steady warmth and pressure of her friend's embrace, she told herself she would not mourn for long.

There was still so little about the force she understood. A powerful, well, _force_ that somehow, she was a part of. There was so little she understood, but she wasn't the only one. The force was as old as time itself, billions of generations born with the gift, the ability, the _connection_ with the force, and _still,_ there was so little they knew.

The Resistance had been built on hope. And now, that's all Rey has. The hope of the force containing the secrets, somewhere out there, that she needs.

She would mourn, but only for a while. She had no clue how or even it was possible, but she was sure, no, she _vowed,_ she would do everything in her power to find the future her vision had promised her.

She would find a way to bring Ben Solo back.

For now, her new journey begun in Tatooine, where some old memories had to be laid to rest...

\- - -

"You're going _where?"_

Finn's hand wrapped around her own, yanking her to a stop with confused and slightly hurt eyes.

"Rey, we _just_ got you back," Poe added, stood by Finn's side with an equally worried expression.  
 _"You_ just got back. It's over, Rey. We won. Everyone is here, celebrating, and you should be a part of that too."

"I know. I'm sorry, but... I can't. Not yet. There's still more I have to do. " Rey argued, gently pulling her hand out of Finn's grip.

"What do you mean? What more is there to do?" Poe asked

"It's just -- Something that's been on my mind. I won't be able to rest until I do it."

Poe and Finn exchanged nervous glances at this, a beat of silence passing between the three of them, only broken by the loud cheering and elated laughter of the Resistance that surrounded them.

"Then we'll go with you," Finn stated, breaking his gaze with Poe to look to Rey.  
"I'm not leaving you. Not again. Whatever you're doing, we'll find a way to do it _together._ You shouldn't be alone out there, Rey. You don't need to be anymore."

It was a tempting offer. She had indeed been alone, for nearly most of her life. Friends were something she simply did not use to have and, while it was sometimes jarring to have them in her life now, she had realized just how much she enjoyed having their company, a comforting presence by her side.

She just didn't realize how much she missed it until Ben was gone.

And that's exactly why she can't let them join her.

"I'm sorry." Rey apologized softly, shaking her head to their pleading eyes. "What I need to do, it's... You just wouldn't understand."

No, they wouldn't understand. And they would never help her if they knew what she was truly trying to do.

"Then _help_ us understand," Poe demanded, frustration lacing his words

The agitation at her secrecy was clear on his face, an expression which she expected to see doubled on Finns. Except, when she glanced over to him, all she could see was... Confliction. An uncertainty that she had seen glimpses of recently, whenever he looked at her, something that she has yet to figure out.

"There's something you're not telling us, isn't there?" Finn asks, and for a split second, she's worried he somehow knows, somehow had figured out what she had tried so valiantly to hide.

"Listen, there's..." Finn began, trailing off to glance hurriedly around at their surroundings. Seeing the countless bodies and listening ears that surrounded them, he jerked his head for them to follow, leading them away into the sweltering depths of the jungle.

They kept walking until the noise of the crowd had begun to die out, replaced by the chirping of the insects hidden within the foliage around them. Deciding this was far enough away from those that should not be listening, Finn came to a halt, that look of hesitation back in full force as his eyes flicked worriedly between Poe and Rey.

"I've wanted to tell you this for a while." Finn begins, his guilty gaze sliding from Rey over to Poe. "Both of you." 

Poe let out an agitated huff, throwing his arms in the air with one solid flow of frustrated movement.

"Seriously, what is it with the secrets around here? I thought it was bad enough with just _one_ of you keeping stuff hidden from me."

"You remember, back on Passana, in that quicksand? I thought that... That that was it. It was the end." Finn says, ignoring Poes outburst

"You said there was something you wanted to tell me," Rey remembers with a small nod of her head "Something you wouldn't tell me after."

"Or me..." Poe muttered bitterly

"I didn't know how to tell you. Mostly because... because I wasn't entirely sure, I guess. But, the thing is, there's been this sort _of...feeling_ inside me, something that I didn't understand."

"A... Feeling?" Rey repeated

"I was never certain what it was. Only that it seemed to... Guide me? Told me what to do when I didn't know myself. I wondered if it was what I thought it might be, but I couldn't accept it, couldn't _see_ that it was that. Not when I saw how strong it was in you."

The shock of the confession seemed to punch the air out of Rey, an odd sort of budding hope growing in her chest that Finn might be hinting at what she thought he was, the hope that maybe she wasn't alone in this after all.

"Finn, are you...Are you saying that-"

"Not completely, I think." Finn interrupted "But... I can _feel_ it. I might be wrong, but-"

"You're force-sensitive." Rey finished what Finn seemed to be struggling to say.

"Wait, _what?!"_ Poe spluttered, looking wide-eyed between Finn and Rey. "You have the _force?_ So, what, are you... Are you another Jedi or something?"

"It's not that simple." Both Rey and Finn spoke at the same time, turning to address the taken-aback looking Pilot.

"Yeah, sure, of course it isn't..." Poe spoke hurriedly, running a hand through his hair before quickly rubbing his hands up and down his face, letting out a frustrated groan as he did so. "We need to make a deal, okay? No more secrets! No more hiding important stuff like, oh, I don't know, _having_ _a connection to the force?!"_

"I wasn't sure, okay?" Finn snapped irritably. "Not until..."

"Until what?"

Finn's jaw clenched as he kept his gaze solely focused on the ground in front of him, finding it much too hard to meet Rey’s inquisitive eyes, to admit what he was _sure_ had happened...

"I felt it when it happened," Finn admitted in a whisper, nervously shuffling his feet against the loose soil and twigs that crunched beneath them. "When we were up on that command ship, trying to bring their navigation systems down. I felt you die, Rey."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait." Poe interrupted with his hands splayed out in front of him. "What do you mean you _felt_ her die? Rey’s right here."

"I don't know how I knew. I just did." Finn insisted, finally gathering the courage to lock eyes with Rey

Her mind was going a million miles per hour, trying to find _some way_ out of this conversation, something she could say to throw them off. Except, no matter what she thought of, it seemed like nothing but the truth would sate their need for answers.

"I wasn't even aware I could feel your presence until it wasn't there anymore." Finn continued, snapping her out of her thoughts. "It felt like... Like something was wrong inside. Like someone had snuffed out a candle.  
But... All of a sudden, it was there again. I was sure you were _gone,_ and then there's this _thing_ inside me telling me you were still here. Now, here you are, and you're _fine,_ and I don't understand how-"

"Because I was gone." Rey interrupts, the admission enough for Finn’s mouth to snap shut, listening intently. "What happened down in that horrible place, what I had to do, it... It took everything I had, and more. It killed me."

"Then..." Poe begins with a soft shake of his head. "Then how are you alive, Rey?"

Rey sighed at the question, the response on the tip of her tongue, right there ready to be said, and yet, it just didn't seem to want to leave her lips. They _deserved_ to know the truth, of what she's been hiding from them, from everyone, even herself at one point, for so long.

But she's afraid. Afraid of how they might react, of how they might treat her after this, maybe even see her differently. That they would no longer treat her as a friend, as a companion, as one of them.

It was more than that, though. Losing her closest friends was an awful thing to envision, but that wasn't entirely why she struggled to say those words, those awful words that she couldn't keep out of her head.

Because surely Ben Solo isn't really dead unless she says it out loud.

"There was someone else down there with me. Someone who fought by my side."

"Another Resistance member?" Poe throws out a guess.

"No. When it was all over, when I was dead, he... Ben saved my life."

"Ben?" Poe asks with furrowed eyebrows, sharing a perplexed look with Finn, who seemed to be struggling to figure this out as much as he was. "Ben? Who's-"

The confused expression quickly slips away to one of a horrifying realization, head whipping around to face Rey with mouth agape, struggling to believe what he thought he might be hearing.

"You-- Ben Solo? You mean-- You mean Kylo Ren was down there?"

"He's still alive?!" Finn exclaimed in horror  
"I--I thought he had been on that command ship! You're telling me he's still out there?"

"That's what you're going out there to do, right? Hunt him down? Rey, we can _help_ you with that, you don't have to-"

"No." Rey snapped angrily, regretting the harshness of her tone when she sees the surprise and hurt looks on her friend's faces. "No, that... That's not what I'm going out there to do. Ben, he's-"

And there it was again. Something inside her that _refused_ to let her say those words, seemingly trying to force them back down her throat, keeping them locked away from reality.

But she couldn't do this forever. In some way, in some form, she had to accept what had happened. Because if she can't accept he's gone, how can she possibly go about finding a way to bring him back?

"Ben Solo is dead."

Not everyone knows the full story. In fact, she's quite sure she's the only one that does. She has insisted that, one day, Kylo Ren would be gone, and that Ben Solo would come back to them. Only she believed it, and now she's the only one that knows it to be true. Ben Solo _had_ come back.

She has to remind herself of this. Less she gives into the anger she feels growing in her chest at the relief on her friend's faces upon hearing that Ben Solo was dead. Remind herself of how, to them, Ben Solo never existed. All they know of is Kylo Ren; Supreme Leader of the First Order. The monster behind a mask that ruled with no mercy, executed without sympathy, all to achieve his own goal.

That was the man they were celebrating the death of. Not the same man she was grieving for.

Which is perhaps why she feels the need to set the record straight.

"Ben Solo died to keep me alive. I wouldn't be here without him."

Whatever Finn and Poe had been expecting her to say next, it clearly hadn't been that.

"What do you mean?" Finn asks gently, having sensed that this was somehow a sensitive subject for Rey.

"After I had died, Ben somehow found his way back to me. When he saw what had happened to me, he... He transferred what remained of his own life force over to me. It wasn't much, but... It was enough to bring me back."

"At the cost of his own life?" Poe clarifies

"Yes," Rey confirms in a whisper, closing her eyes against the harsh burn she felt under her eyelids. “At the cost of his own life."

"Okay... Okay, so... I'm sorry, but I have to ask; Why would _Kylo Ren_ sacrifice himself for you?"

"Because he _wasn't_ Kylo Ren anymore." And yes, while that made sense in her own head, she could hear just how much it _didn't_ when she said it out loud.

It was _the_ question. The question that could only be answered with something she had been afraid to admit. But what else could she tell them now, than what had really happened?

Having quickly scanned their surroundings, Rey heads over to a fallen log that laid nearby, taking a seat down on its rotting surface with a heavy sigh.

"This isn't the first time this happened." She admits to them. "It isn't the first time we've given our life force to each other."

"What are you talking about?"

"Back on Exegol, when we trying to get to that Sith Finder, on that old wreckage. I found it, but... It wasn't the only thing I found. Something within me snapped, something dark, and when _he_ appeared, I... I _lost_ it.  
It felt like I wasn't even in control. I wasn't even entirely aware of what I was doing. One second I'm in that wreckage, the next I'm stood atop of it with Master Lukes lightsaber in my hand, and Kylo Ren stood opposite me, fighting for his life."

Rey lifted her gaze to meet Finns, making sure she knew her next words were addressed to him.

"You said you could feel it when I was gone. Did you feel it too, when General Leia was gone?"

Finn shook his head softly in response

"I could. And so could he. He was distracted, _distraught_ by what had happened, enough so that he dropped his lightsaber, and-- It was almost like instinct. I ignited it. I _killed_ Kylo Ren.  
When I saw him drop down to his knees, saw the look on his face...He didn't even seem to care about what I'd done, didn't care that he was dying. I saw the face of a boy who had just lost his mother, and it struck me what I had _done._ So... I transferred some of my life force to heal him. I didn't bring back Kylo Ren. I brought back Ben Solo. And in the end, he did the same for me."

The silence that followed her confession was almost unbearable. She wanted them to say something, _anything,_ to react in some way to what she had done. She didn't want them to look to her pity, not when she's sure they're not even sure themselves why they pity her, why they can tell she's upset over the death of a murderer.

"Okay, but... That still doesn't explain everything." Finn says cautiously, already feeling like he was stepping on thin ice with this conversation. "You saved Ben Solo, and he saved you. Why would he do that? Did he feel like he-- I don't know-- Like he owed you for it?"

"No. At least... I don't think so. This was... This was different."

"Different _how?"_

"Different as in..." Rey cut herself off with another sigh, fighting off the tears that threatened to slip free, all the while struggling to find a way to even begin to tell them this. "There's a lot I didn't tell you. And I'm sorry about that, I really am. I was... I was much too afraid to tell you all the truth. It seemed easier to pretend it never happened."

"Rey, whatever it is, you can tell us. That's what we're here for." Finn assured her gently, crouching down in front of her to match her seated height.

"You can't say that." She argues back weakly. "Not yet. Not when you haven't heard what I have to tell you."

"Well-" Poe begins, copying Finns stance and crouching down beside him. "Guess we won't find out till you tell us, will we?"

Rey paused, taking in there sincere faces, curious yet sympathetic eyes that bore into her own. She didn't want to tell them this, not really, but they had a right to know.

"When General Leia sent me to Master Luke, something happened to me while on that island. I had only just begun my training, had barely begun to get an understanding of the force and then... I started to see him."

"Kylo Ren?" Finn asks, receiving a small nod from Rey in confirmation.

"You saw him? What, you mean, you hallucinated him or something?" Poe asked.

"I thought so, at first. There was nothing else, just him, sat across from me, tending to his wounds. I was frozen to the spot, wondering what I was seeing, _why_ I was seeing him. And then he was looking at me. He _saw_ me, just as I could see him.  
It wasn't until after I grabbed my blaster and fired, only for him to disappear out of sight that I realized I wasn't just seeing him. That this was... This was something more. More than just us."

"And he didn't try to attack you?" Finn asked. It hadn't slipped Rey’s notice the way Finn's eyebrows furrowed at the word 'us'.

"No, he seemed just as confused as I was. Quite caught off guard, really. Even if he wanted to, I don't think he had time to think about it."

"Didn't stop you, though." Poe noted with a quiet snort

"So was that the only time it happened?" Finn asked, encouraging Rey to continue. "The only time you saw him?"

"It wasn't, no. The next time, it felt... Different. I could _feel_ him. This sudden presence seemed to overwhelm my mind, and then he would be there. I... I got riled up, I got _so_ angry. I was on an island, on a near unreachable planet, and I _still_ couldn't escape him. Except... No matter how much I yelled, called him names, he just... He didn't care. All he cared about was this... This _thing_ between us. He was _fascinated_ about it."

"Uh...Your _thing?"_ Poe asked with a raised eyebrow

"Me and Ben, we... We were connected by the force. Its something old, old as the Force itself. A force bond."

"You're _bonded_ to this guy? What does that even mean?"

"We're a dyad," Rey confessed. "We share each other's power within the force. At first, it only allowed us to connect to one another mentally, to speak to and see each other as if we were in the same room, no matter how far apart we were. Over time, he started to appear more and more, and... Our bond strengthened, until eventually, we were able to touch each other over the bond."

"Kriff, Rey! You let him keep doing that? You let the bond get stronger?"

"It wasn't something I could exactly stop," Rey argued back, mildly agitated by Finn’s accusatory tone. "It just happened, and kept happening. And besides, I'm glad it was there."

 _"Glad?_ How could you possibly-"

"Because when I touched Kylo Ren’s hand for the first time, I saw his fate." Rey stopped Finn in his rant. "I saw his future. I saw Kylo Ren die, and in his place, I saw Ben Solo. I saw him stood by my side, not as Supreme Leader, not as the monster you may seem him as, but as my equal. And that's exactly what happened."

Her voice wavered as she got the last words out, catching inside her throat, reluctant to make their way out.

"I know that doesn't forgive his past mistakes," She tells them. "But he came back. Ben Solo gave everything he had to fight back to my side. And when he realized I was gone, just as you had... He gave all his remaining life force through our bond. Ben saved my life. And I had to watch him die in my arms."

Finn and Poe were both much too quiet for her liking, and, judging by the way their eyes were slowly scanning her face, she wasn't doing as good of a job keeping her emotions in check than she thought she was.

"I'm sorry, I just..." Poe finally spoke, blowing the air out of his lungs in a quick huff as he took a seat next to Rey. "It's hard to see him in any other way than, well-"

"I know," Rey uttered softly. "It took me some time, too. I suppose it's different when you see it with your own eyes." 

"I can't imagine someone like _him,_ giving up his life to save someone else. I didn't think there was anyone else he cared about.”

"Neither did I. I didn't think I could ever see him as anything other than a monster. Not after what he did to Han. To his own _father."_

"And yet, he saved your life," Finn spoke up, forcing Rey to look up at the only remaining standing member of their party. "Never thought I'd see the day where my old boss, who ordered me to slaughter civilians, would be the same person to help us win this war..."

"So... What now?" Poe asked, turning his head to his side to address Rey. "What's all this got to do with whatever you're heading out to do now?"

While, perhaps, they had reacted to the news of their force bond better than she had expected to, the thought of telling them her plans still didn't feel like a good idea. There wasn't a shadow of a doubt that they wouldn't try to stop her, especially when she wouldn't let them aid her in her quest.

She glanced guiltily up at Finn, who regarded her with narrowed eyes. Unable to take his scrutinizing look for too long, she returned her gaze back to the forest floor in front of her, nervously twitching and fiddling her fingers that sat upon her legs.

"Oh, no... Rey, you're not..." The disbelieving tone of non-approval from Finn was enough for her to look back up to him, seeing for herself the clear disagreement on his face. "You're trying to find a way to bring him back, aren't you?"

"Bring him back?" Poe spluttered "Are you insane?"

Rey felt her jaw tick at the question, taking a deep inhale of breath to calm her thoughts before she began speaking.

"This is something I have to do. Something I have to try-"

 _"Why_ do you have to? Why can't you just leave things to rest, leave things as they are-"

"Because I won't be able to rest until I do! I... I can't believe that the force would show me this vision, show me my _future,_ and not have that be true! I put _everything_ I had, everything I could, to help that vision come true! And what, now I'm just supposed to accept I'll never get that? That the only time I was destined to spend with Ben was all of five minutes!" Rey retorted, hurriedly standing from the log as she spoke

"Rey-"

"And I don't even know how I could even find a way to explain this to you! To _anyone!_ Believe me, I know of the man he was! But that man is long dead, and what does that matter, because I have _no_ proof of that, only of my own memories! Memories of the man that flew halfway across the galaxy to get to me, of the man who went willingly into a deadly fight with just his fists, all to get to my side!  
And then he _did,_ he did fight by my side! He tried everything to hide our bond from Emperor Palpatine, all to protect _me._ And even when he was right, when the Emperor discovered our bond and used it for himself, throwing Ben off a _cliff_ for Kriffsake, he _still_ found a way back to my side! He fought through all that pain, all that suffering, and he gave his life for me. _That_ is the man I am trying to bring back, because he does _not_ deserve that fate!"

Within the blink of an eye, Finn was in front of her, his arms wrapped securely around her, pulling her close into his chest and rubbing comforting circles into her back. It was with a start that she realized the wetness she felt on his jacket was from her own tears, having unconsciously begun to cry partway through their conversation.

"You would do it for me." She whispered against his chest, gently placing her arms against him, pushing herself out of his embrace.

"Of course I would, but Rey-"

"Then you understand why I need to do this." She pleaded."If you would be willing to do this for me, then you must realize how much I need to _try_ for him.  
I can still feel it _inside_ of me, Finn. Something that's telling me he's not _completely_ gone, that there's still a way. I don't know how, or what I'll have to give up to get it done, but...  
It's not the same without him. Once I had him here with me, it was as if a part of me that was missing a had been reconnected. And now he's gone, and I've never been _so_ aware of how much I longed for that part of me. I need to bring him back, Finn. I need to make myself complete again."

"Okay..." Finn relented, placing a hand upon her shoulder and giving it a reassuring squeeze with a sad smile pulling at his lips "But I can still come with you-"

"No." She stopped him before he could go any further. "I still don't know where this journey will take me, and I can't take the risk of pulling you along with me, of putting you into potential danger. Neither of you."

"You can't expect us to just let you walk into danger too, Rey." Poe argued, frowning up at her from his seated position.

"I can handle myself."

"Yeah, trust me, we know that better than anyone." Poe agreed with a knowing smirk. "Doesn't mean we're not gonna worry."

"This isn't your responsibility. I'm the one that needs to do this, and I'm not willing to pull you along with me. You told me I should just let things rest, but my quest isn't over yet. But yours _is._ You've fought a _long_ time to get this, to find this peace. It's _your_ time to rest."

"And besides-" Rey added with a small smile before they could have a chance to speak again. "It's not like I'm going away forever. There will be times where I need your help, just as you need mine, and I'll _always_ answer those calls for help, because that's what friends are for, right?"

"Yeah, of course." Poe agreed quietly, getting up from the log to stand by their sides.

"I _will_ see you again," Rey promised them, placing a hand on each of their arms. "But I have to do this first, no matter what."

Finn still looked like he wanted to argue about it, but her words finally seemed to have reached him in some capacity. The fight drained out of his posture and, with a defeated sort of look, he gave her a soft nod of his head in acceptance.

"Then, for now, this is goodbye."

* * *

She had taken it, before she had left that crumbling hole in the ground that was now her grandfather's resting place, among many others.

His jet black shirt sat neatly on one of the spare seats of The Millennium Falcon. She had folded it with delicate movements, as if fearing such a solid piece of material would simply crumble in her hands if she so much as made one wrong move.

To others, it would probably seem like a worthless item. It certainly couldn't be used for its original use anymore; not with the singed hole that went through both sides of the shirt, damage she had done to both shirt and owner. Not to mention the faded blood that had been splattered and dripped down its front, from where its wearer had decided to walk into a deadly battle against his most well-trained warriors, with no weapon of his own.

For most, it would be useless. A dirty, ruined, tattered pile of rags that, for some reason, she currently had resting along the ship of arguably one of the most well-known Rebels in the Galaxy.

But she knew Han wouldn't mind. Because, even in death, he knew who the shirt belonged to. She may be the only person alive to have seen Ben Solo once again, to have known the man he had become, but the dead knew. All those voices that called out to her, they knew. So she knew in some way, they'd understand.

There was no point to it, really- In having it. It certainly wasn't _him,_ and in all honesty, having it so close, his faint scent still clinging to what remained of his clothes, just made it all the more painful. Yet, she couldn't bear to get rid of it.

She didn't even have a body to bring back. Vanished, fading away into the force, and _this,_ this was all that remained of him. Throwing it away would feel much too like giving up on this task. Of moving on.

And she wasn't ready for that.

Just as she wasn't ready to step onto this planet. The _sand,_ the damn sand. Rey had assumed she would never go back to her previous life, of rummaging around downed ships for whatever scrap she could find in the suffocating heat of Jakku. But of course, Jakku wasn't the only planet like that, so it shouldn't really be much of a surprise she finds herself amongst the sandy dunes she was all too familiar with.

The heat was arguably one of the worst parts. Of course, there were many other planets that were uncomfortably hot. Ajan Kloss was one such planet, except it was a much _different_ heat. It felt almost... _thick,_ like she was breathing in warm water, settling heavily in her lungs. The air on Jakuu and, similarly, Tatooine, was as dry as the sand that made up its surface; scratchy against her throat and sucking away any moisture she had in her body.

After living on Jakku for most, if not nearly all of her life, she had thought it would be something she was used to, like she was home. The first steps on Tatooine felt the opposite, completely alien to all of her senses.

The weight of the lightsabers in her bag felt heavy against her side. They're designed to be as light as possible, to allow the holder perfect control over its movements, while maintaining the ability to hold and focus the power held within the Kyber Crystal sat inside its hilt. They didn't feel light now, not when she knew she was about to do with them. Not when she was so aware of its previous owners.

It was a tremendous relief when she caught sight of the dome-shaped building peeking out amongst the sand on the horizon, raising a hand to her face in an attempt to block out the blazing heat that beat down on her from the Galaxy's two suns.

Something shiny glinting within the sand caught her eye as she approached the old and buried ruins, a small smile playing on her lips as she yanked it out of place. The metal was almost too hot to touch, only holdable to her after years of handling metal that had sat baking in Jakkus sun.

Sliding down the small dip of sand on that square of metal was what done it-If she closed her eyes and let the heat of the sun dance across her face, it was like she was back on Jakku once again. Except, now, there was that tingle that ran just under her skin, pumping through her veins, a never-ending reminder of the power she had the privilege to.

Clambering out from the ruins wasn't quite as fun as going down was. One of the worst feelings in existence had to be of sand getting caught under your fingernails, scratching at the delicate skin of her fingers as she hauled herself up the small hill of sand.

This was it. There was no better place she could think of to give their lightsabers a final resting place. The same planet that had once been home to Anakin Skywalker, the original owner of one of the sabers currently sat in her bag. The very same saber that had been passed onto Master Luke, who grew up in the ruins she was currently stood on, beginning his journey right where his own fathers had.

It was quite strange. The thought that the man who had once been one of the darkest threats to the Galaxy, had also been the father of a man who had become a legend. A legend who had, albeit somewhat reluctantly, taken her under his wing and helped her begin her journey into understanding the force.

Perhaps, even stranger, was thinking about how a person she had never met would have such an influence on her life. Without Anakin, without Vader, there would be no Luke Skywalker. And without Anakin, General Leia would have ceased to exist, and in that case, Ben Solo would never have been born.

Some would argue for that last point to be a good thing, of course. Kylo Ren was nothing short of a tyrant; a leader who only cared for his own self-interests, on a never-ending search for more power than he could ever handle. In that case, yes, she agreed the Galaxy was better off without Kylo Ren.

The same couldn't be said for Ben Solo.

He could do so much _good_ for this Galaxy. They _both_ could. She was as sure of it as she was sure of the Force's existence. In that short time he had returned, he had saved her life. He had fought by her side, and they had brought down Emperor Palpatine, the darkest threat the Galaxy had known alongside Vader.

They wouldn't know it, but without him, the Resistance wouldn't have won this war. Ben Solo died a hero, a _good man,_ and no one even knew.

With her gaze locked to the ground in front of her, Rey slowly knelt down onto her knees in the sand and slipped her hands into the bag that rest by her side. Taking out a single piece of cloth, she laid it down neatly on the sand in front of her, gently brushing the surface of loose grains and creases.

Feeling the cool metal of the sabers hilts against her hand, she wrapped her fingers around them and pulled them both out of her bag.

The _stories_ these two objects held. The countless hands that had held them, the many clashes against other sabers. Even the lives they had taken...

In her hands right now, was an object once wielded by Anakin Skywalker, both for good, and for bad...  
The same object that had been passed onto his son, used for years without either being privy to the knowledge; one not knowing its new owner, the other not knowing the true identity of its previous owner. That the man he had thought he was destined to bring down, in the name of revenge for his father's death, _was_ his father.

And... Most recently, wielded by Ben Solo. He may not have carried the Skywalker name, but he certainly had Skywalker blood running through his veins. It was only fitting he came to wield it, even for the brief time that he did.

It had been a jarring sight. All these years, every time she had seen him next to a lightsaber, it would be to see him dressed in black and bathed in that fiery red glow. And then there he was in front of her, no long donning his cape and mask, now surrounded by the blue light of his Uncles and Grandfather's saber.

If she held on tight enough, she could almost imagine the feeling of his touch around the hilt. Would the skin of his palm be rough after years and years of expertly wielding his own saber? Would they be as calloused as his knuckles had felt under her own palm when she had awoken to the gentle weight of his hand resting securely across her torso?

Shaking her head free of thoughts, she placed the two sabers down on the cloth in front of her. Grabbing the two ends of the cloth, she tucked the two sides together, rolling the wrapped sabers into the middle, never to be seen by her eyes again. Then, letting the force flow through her, she pushed the covered sabers down, down, down into the ground, watching as the weight of the sand gave in and drained down away into the hole, burying the sabers in their final resting place.

Rey stood, straightened from her kneeling position and, just for a moment, took a few seconds to soak in the endless stretch of desert that surrounded her. That was until she caught the sight of something shimmering out in the distance. She brought an arm up to cover her eyes from the bright glare of Tatooine's suns, squinting out towards the odd shimmer.

The calming sensation that washed over her and never felt so soothing. They were almost too far out to see, but she would recognize those figures anywhere. A relaxed smile pulled at the corner of her lips as she dropped her arm back down, finding a sense of peace in their presence.

It seemed that, even in death, the Skywalker twins were still watching out for her.

* * *

Frustration. That was a tricky feeling for her to handle.

She had given into it more than she should have; In the times that Kylo Ren would taunt her with his strength, with his power, and with his over-confidence. In the early days of her training with Master Luke, when it felt as if he was mocking her for her lack of knowledge on a power she never thought she would experience for herself.

The problem with frustration is that it's an easy path towards anger. And once at that point, it's all too easy to find yourself stuck in that deep dark pit, and with no way to climb back out, you eventually find it more preferable to stew at the bottom...

Now, she was leading herself right back into that trap. But then again, how could she _not_ feel frustrated.

It would be impossible not to. Not when she's filled with this insistent _need,_ a constant compulsion deep down to her bones, to have Ben back with her. The reminder of him sat on the back of her mind; the mildly metallic taste of his lips against her own, the feel of his smile against her thumb along with the briefest deep rich rumble of his chuckle, the warm weight of his arms caressed around her, unwilling to let go, just as she was.

So how could she _not_ feel frustrated, when every fiber of her being is shouting for her to find a way to bring him back, and she has _no idea_ how to do that.

There was no one left for her to turn to. There wasn't a person out there who held all of the secrets, had the very answer she was looking for. Truthfully, she didn't even know if it was possible, only going by this hope, this voice she didn't know within her, unwilling to let her walk away, insisting that there is a way to bring him back.

It tells her this, and yet it doesn't even try to help her find the answer. _That's_ what she finds frustrating.

Like so many times over the past few days, she finds her eyes drawn to Ben’s shirt, still sat tidily within the cockpit of The Millennium Falcon. With tired eyes and unsteady hands, she reaches forward from the cockpits seat to grab at the soft material, delicately pulling it off the counter and into her lap.

She let her fingers twist into the shirt, bunching up the material within her hands and letting her eyes slip closed with a heavy breath, holding the shirt close.

"I wish I knew what to do." Rey speaks to the silence of the ship. "I wish this had never happened in the first place. You're gone, and you shouldn't be, and now... Now I have infinite galaxies spread out in front of me, with the answer to my question possibly not even being _out_ there, and I... I don't know what to do, Ben. I really don't."

Nothing. The hum of their bond remained numb, almost silent to her senses. There would be no point in being disappointed, she thought. She hadn't _really_ been expecting for anything to happen.

Yet, she still felt it. She simply couldn't help it.

Chastising herself for her own stupidity, Rey began to loosen her grip on his shirt, ready to place it somewhere out of sight.

That's when it happened.

Almost on reflex, her fingers re-tightened their grip against his shirt as the voice grew stronger, more demanding for her attention. And yet, no matter how loud it got, how obvious it made itself, she, for whatever reason, could not understand it, as if it were speaking in a language she had never heard. It wasn't even a voice really, it wasn't even speaking, but it was the closest description she could give.

Instead, she kept her eyes shut, letting the Force find a way to convey the message it was trying to send. As the feeling got stronger and stronger, she squeezed her eyes close tighter and tighter, willing for this to end. For something, _anything,_ to help her find her way.

Silence. The Force falls silent, returning her to the peaceful state she had been in moments before. It felt like her mind was on auto-pilot, processing information she couldn't even fully understand herself, even if she wanted to.

Finally, her eyes snap open once more, that relieving wave of realization washing over her. A feeling of _purpose._

It hadn't given her the answers she so desperately sought, but it had given her a place to start.

For now, that was enough. But oh, how she wished it was different.

* * *

Stepping back onto this place was... More difficult than she thought it would be.

It was easy enough getting there physically. The waters were much calmer than the first time she had arrived here, and so the journey over on one of the discarded and rusting Skimmers had been a much smoother, relaxing, and overall pleasant journey.

Or, it would have been, if she wasn't heading to the place she was.

She didn't dare step inside the wreckage. That was a mistake she had made once before, and she wouldn't dare make it again.

Stepping atop the parts of the wreckage that hadn't been completely submerged was a much different experience than when she last stood here. At that time, she could barely hear her own thoughts over the sounds of the agitated ocean that surrounded her, crashing violently into the already damaged metal. Now, the once-raging ocean merely lapped peacefully at the wreckage underneath her, the howling wind now no more than a light breeze blowing across her face.

She had stood here, not long ago. It didn't feel real, not then, not now. It felt more like a dream than anything, her mind clouded by the effect of what this place once was. She had woken up from that dream though, eventually. But it hadn't stopped her from doing what she had...

Rey took tentative steps forward, the metal beneath her feet strong and study despite having spent decades soaking in the planet's ocean. It was, however, slightly slippery from the ocean spray, something she made sure to keep in mind. Swimming wasn't exactly her strong point; It usually wasn't for people who grew up on Jakku, where bodies of water simply didn't exist.

Something forced her feet to still, coming to a stop somewhere along the wreckage. Rey looked curiously around at the bleak view ahead of her; nothing more than the endless stretch of ocean, the metal path in front of her, and the looming wreckage of what was once the Death Star.

Her eyes furrowed as she continued to search around the place, using every bit of focus she had to figure out what it is that had spoken out to her, what had compelled her to stop here.

Oh.

She knew where this was.

Rey smoothly bent down into a crouch, placing one knee down on the soaked metal, the cold water quick to seep through her clothes and make its presence known. Her right hand hesitated outstretched for a moment before she gingerly lowered it down, splaying her fingers across the surface. The metal was as cold as the ocean that surrounded it, the sharpness of the cold temperature feeling similar to a burn. Despite this, her hand remains glued to it.

"This is where I almost killed you." Rey whispered, opening her eyes, which she hadn't even realized she had closed. "I suppose I did, in a way."

Rey let her hand slip away from the surface of the wreckage, her fingers leisurely sliding away and curling protectively into her palm to avoid the cold wind.

"Even then, what I did... I have nightmares about it, sometimes. It'll be just the same, me and you stood upon this place. I'll wound you, and then... It's like I forget everything. Every piece of training I've had with Master Luke, with Leia, and... I can't heal you. I try, I try with every ounce of power I have, but... You still slip away."

Rey moves forward once more, closer to the curved edge of the wreckage, closer to where the wind hits her skin harder, pushing her dangerously close to dropping off. Closer to where something beckons her.

"I awake from these dreams in a panic, but then I'll feel this sense of relief when I realize it's not real, that I was able to heal you. It doesn't last long, not when I remember that it doesn't matter. That you're gone anyway.  
Sometimes I wonder why my own mind is so cruel to create such images. It doesn't seem much use to me. It only really seems to make losing you hurt even more."

It's stronger now. Something was _out_ there, calling out to her, resting within the gentle rolling waves that stretched out in front of her.

"What are you trying to tell me? What is it that I need to know?"

It changes, now more like a beacon within the ocean, rather than an entire wave. Rey stretches out her arm, screwing her eyes shut and envisioning _something_ within the water, something she could grab tight with her scrunched up fist. It's _there,_ it's right _there,_ she just needs to _focus,_ to pull it out-

Suddenly, it's moving. Something is breaching the water in the distance, a speckle that is growing bigger as it moves, exiting from the dark waves and heading right towards her outstretched hand.

Rey's eyes open at the solid metal that now rests in her hands: wide, heavy, and somewhat waterlogged. She feels her breath catch in her throat at the weathered black and silver metal, running a trembling finger down along the attached external wire, it's color as deep as the heat that hides within.

On instinct, her fingers drift over to the ignition button. She startles slightly as the blade splutters to life, lines of fire spitting from the three different ports of the saber, crackling with unstable energy.

A part of her wanted to drop it. Never did she want to see herself wielding a red blade, not when that future had been shown to her, or when it was a future that Kylo Ren had claimed he had seen himself.

She can't, though. She feels glued to the spot, hands frozen around the hilt of the saber. Not just any saber, but _his_ saber. The last time it had been used, it had almost killed her, ready and poised for the killing blow that never came.

At least, it hadn't for her.

"I hadn't realized you had thrown it away..." Rey murmured, rotating the blade in her hold. "I suppose you were right. It was time to let the past die. And this was a part of it."

Rey drops her finger from the ignition button, letting the energy of the blade cut off from the hilt, the warmth from the blade disappearing along with the ominous light.

"But you're not my past, Ben. I thought--I _knew_ you were my future. _Are_ my future. I'm not willing to let you go just yet. I just wish I had found the answers I was searching for here-"

Her senses become overwhelmed, flooded with too much information all at once, just like when she was back on the Millennium Falcon. Its somehow excruciatingly painful and completely numbing at the same time, her nerve ending set alight yet at the same time blunt and unfeeling.

It's all so much, right in her head, yet it feels like she's not getting any of it all. It's as if she's reaching out within her own mind, desperately grasping at wisps of information as it shoots through, slipping out of her fingers and out of reach.

It must _mean_ something, must be telling, or even _showing_ her something that's important. This could be the answer shes looking for, the very balance of the universe trying to guide her towards her own balance, but she still can't figure out _what-_

It's then that she slips off the side of the wreckage.

Distraction. Too much distraction, not enough focus, and just like that, her feet had slid out from under her, no longer able to keep balance on the sloping damp metal. She slams down hard on her back, knocking the wind out of her enough to momentarily stun her as her body slides down the side of the wreckage.

In a blink, the surface of the water is coming up fast, closing the distance between them rapidly. Her brain and partly her instincts kick into gear, reaching out a hand, reaching out for the force, ready to ask for its guidance back to where she had slid from.

But before that can happen, she comes to a halt.

Her heart is beating wildly against her ribcage as she stares bewildered around herself. Here she sat, suspended in midair, with something or, _someone_ stopping her from plummeting into the freezing water below.

The shock only lasts for a moment, the need for self-preservation kicking in as she grasps at the ragged metal just behind her. One hand tosses the lightsaber up and over the edge of the wreckage above her, while the other hand finds solid purchase within the jagged metal of the fallen base, its uneven and sharp breaks slicing into the soft skin of her palm. Adrenalin does its job in masking the pain, allowing her to push through and grab onto the next bit of leverage she can find, hauling herself up the side of the wreckage.

And all the while, this... Presence. A helping hand, not as strong as it was when it caught her, but still there, quite literally giving her a lift as she pulls herself up, helping her along. It's not until she hauls herself up and over the edge she had originally fallen from, collapsing onto her back with deep heaving breaths that she feels the presence slowly ebb away from her side.

It hadn't been her. She knew it hadn't. She hadn't reached out yet, not completely. _Something_ had saved her, something she could not see, not completely sense, only going by this touch. A touch that was... Oddly familiar. Comforting. Protective.

_"Ben?"_

She looks around, part of her hoping to catch a glimpse of him, just as she had of Luke and Leia, back on Tatooine. Disappointingly, there's no fuzzy blue outline of him anywhere to be seen. Only his discarded lightsaber, laying where she had thrown it.

Being a lot more aware of where she places her feet this time, she heads over to the dropped saber, being wary of the edge of the wreckage as she bends down to scoop it off the floor. Her hand runs softly across the hilt, leaving a red trail in its wake, hand still sluggishly oozing blood from the slices she had received climbing back up.

Something was... Different. Except, no, not different. More like something had returned, something that had been missing, back where it should be.

 _The bond._ She could _feel_ it. Something had shifted within it, no longer this numb sensation she could barely sense. It almost felt like something was tugging on the other end, faint, but there.

' _I'm here._ ', it said. ' _I'm still here._ '

Rey knew she shouldn't think it, shouldn't let herself feel that kind of hope, but she couldn't help it. She had come here, looking for any sign she could find, and that right there could be it.

* * *

It had been flashes in her mind. Flashes of images, of places.

Her mind had been too frazzled to think much of it, after what had happened. Both with the overload of information, and the, um, _unfortunate incident_ that involved herself slipping due to nothing but a lack of attention, and perhaps a bit of surprise.

During the ride back across the ocean, and the short walk back to the ship, her mind had remained uncharacteristically quiet. Usually, it was already busy planning. Planning what to do next, what the best course of action might be. For the time being, however, it seemed her own mind had deemed the best thing was a bit of peace and quiet.

It hadn't lasted long. Back in the safety and comfort of the Millennium Falcon, her mind was already itching to begin the dissection.

It wanted to pick apart every bit of what the Force had tried to tell her. At first, she couldn't understand what that was. It was soon after that the images had begun to visualize in her mind. She recognized the places, of course, having been there in person herself.

But why _those_ places? What had been the connection?

The first it had shown her had been hard to forget. It's destination being associated with one of the worst memories in her life.

Rey could still see the snow-dusted planet even now, as if she was stood there at this very moment. Could feel the crunch of the snow beneath her feet with every step, so different yet so similar to the feeling of stepping on sand.

She remembered the splintered and collapsed trees, having fallen from the damage of the battle that had taken place here, some even brought down by the wide, eccentric swipes of the lightsaber in her hand.

While the heat of Tatooine was uncomfortable, the cold of Illum had felt much worse; the wind biting and painful, each flake of snow landing on her sun-kissed sun sending shivers through her entire body.

She could still see the way her breath materialized as thin cloud-like wisps as she exhaled, the harsh wind blowing the warm air back into her face. The forest around her had somehow been too quiet and too loud at the same time, accentuating sounds she usually wouldn't take notice of; the gentle creaking and scratching of wood as the force of the wind pushed the twigs of the treetops above her into one another. The quiet whistle of the wind as it blew past her, pushing the falling snow quicker to its destination, creating a gentle pitter-patter as it landed on the already settled snow she stood on.

All those sounds only masked by the gentle hum of the lightsabers, one in her own hand, and one in _his_ hand.

All in that moment, her mind couldn't quite figure out how she was supposed to be feeling, what exactly to focus on; The grief she had felt at watching Han Solo, the closest thing she had to a father at that time in her life, be pierced by the lightsaber of his own son. The pain that had thrummed through her body after being thrown carelessly into a sturdy tree, awakening to the agonized screams of her closest friend.

There hadn't been much time for wonder when that lightsaber had mysteriously flown right into her hand. She had gone by instinct, reaching out her hand for the weapon that laid far away from her, yet was still taken aback when it ended up in her hands. She probably looked just as surprised as the man that had been stood opposite her.

And that's what stands out clearest in her mind. The sight of him dressed head to toe in black, seeming so _wrong_ without that helmet of his, having a face attached to the name. It somehow made it more difficult, back on his ship, when she had seen his face for the first time. All of a sudden, he wasn't just a masked monster. There had been someone behind that mask, a face that, now she looked, could vaguely see the features of Han Solo. Seeing him struggling to keep up his fighting stance, the various burnt holes and slashes in his clothing that, if she was close enough, would probably be able to smell the singed flesh underneath. He had done his best to keep fighting, despite the blood still sluggishly dripping into the pure white powder below him. It was enough for her to hesitate.

That hesitancy had been quick to leave her. It was hard to ignore the flickering red glow of the saber that was reflected on the snow all around him, flowing between the trees as the light danced in the darkness around them, making it appear as if he was standing in a faded puddle of blood.

He meant to kill her. And she wasn't going to let that happen.

Except... Except had he?

He had made her an offer. One of many occasions in the time she knew him. Their two sabers had been locked together, sparks of blue and red spitting onto the ground, her arms trembling with exhaustion as she struggled to stop the ever approaching, searing _heat_ of his saber that inched closer and closer with every push...

That's when he had spoken.

_'You need a teacher! I can show you the ways of the force!'_

That had been his biggest mistake, at the time. He had given her an answer she didn't realize she had been searching for. Given her a name to this odd feeling inside her, given explanations to these strange occurrences that she was responsible for, yet also felt out of control of.

He had been trying to lure her in with the promise of power. He had hoped to bring her over to his side, that she would give him her undying loyalty, a powerful ally that stood for the First Order.

Instead, she had branded him with a scar along his face, leaving him for dead in the harsh snow of Illum while the planet crumbled and collapsed, forging a quite literal rift between them.

"Kef Bir... " Rey mutters softly, tapping her fingers across the console of the ship as she thinks. "You showed me that first. You showed me somewhere I could go, something accessible. But Illum..."

It would be impossible to return there. The planet no longer existed, imploded from the damaged thermal reactor core that powered the First Order's most powerful weapon; capable of destroying an entire system. With the power of that systems sun, that is.

It hadn't been the only place she had seen that she could no longer return to. It had shown her of Snokes Ship, of the vivid red of his throne room that had encompassed her.

It had been the first time he had thought by her side. Fighting with him instead of against him had felt all too natural, all too easy, like they were supposed to be doing it all this time. It was as if they somehow knew each other's thoughts, their every move against the target in front of them, comforted by the feel of his back pressed against her own as they struck down Snokes Guards.

Kylo had betrayed his own master, sneakily killed him with the lightsaber that had been sat next to him, and it had been all for her. All because of the vision he had claimed to see, because he had wanted her to join him. Not with the First Order. Not with the Empire. Not with the Republic. He wanted them _all_ dead. Wanted it all to end, so there could be a new ruler over the Galaxy. _Two_ rulers...

_'Let the past die. Kill it if you have to. Its the only way to become what you were meant to be.'_

He had truly believed that. She could hear it in his voice, see the conviction in his eyes. This was the only answer he had, the only solution.

He may have believed that, but she couldn't. And that's why she had to reach out and take Lukes Saber back from him.

And once again, they had found themselves thrown apart.

Rey finds her eyes drawn to her own hands, looking to the ragged red line that ran across her palm. She runs her pointer finger down the cut, wincing at the sting she feels from the contact. The tip of her finger comes away with splotches of blood. The cut had only begun to clot, yet some blood still found its way through, bubbling to the surface and slipping down her arm.

She would have to clean it.

Grabbing the canteen that laid nearby, she pops open its top and splashes some water across her hand, rubbing at the cut as she does so, clearing away the old blood that had dried to her skin, along with the fresh blood that still continued to leak from her hand.

She closes the canteen, tossing it the side and grabs for the nearest pile of rags to her.

Rey stops when she recognizes the familiar material bunched under her hands. She pauses, glancing down at Ben's old shirt, feeling her fingers unflex then re-tighten repeatedly against the fabric.

"I hope you don't mind." She speaks to no one, tugging at the end of the shirt until it rips away into one long piece. "I do need it. I suppose it's not much use to you anymore..."

Rey delicately wraps the strip around her hand, pulling it as tight as she dares before tying it off. She experimentally bunches up and flexes her hand, hissing lightly at the pain that flares from the movement. The wrap was tight enough that it placed pressure on the wound, but had enough give that she could still use her hand if need be. It didn't stop the blunt throbs of pain that shot through her hand with every movement, but it would have to do for now.

As long as she could still pilot a ship and hold a lightsaber, she wouldn't be stopping.

* * *

The next place it had shown her...

She told herself no, she would never go back there, promising herself not to make such a risk, to put herself through so much pain.

It seems that she's not very good at keeping promises. Especially not ones she made to herself.

The place is half-buried at this point. The trip down was hazardous and unstable, having slipped one too many times for her liking. She can only credit her scavenging days on Jakku, of the years she spent maneuvering through the collapsed remains of wreckage, for being the reason she makes it down to the bottom alive.

Rey all but considers it a miracle that the ground shes stood on isn't just crumbling away. It had been battered by falling boulders, shards of the rocky ceiling above them having collapsed and dropped, littering most of the floor and crushing what remained of the Sith Followers.

She doesn't dare use the Force to move the rocks blocking her path, fearing that such a movement may only make the already unstable cavern collapse in even more. Instead, she squeezes her way through whatever gaps she can find, climbing over those that are small enough and, in some cases, precariously crouching and sliding below those that had caught on others.

The room was tainted. Tainted by the memories of what it once was, of what it was used for.

Of what happened here.

Thunder boomed overhead, the heavy bass of it shaking the ground above her, sending pieces of the ceiling crumbling to the ground. Flashes of blue struck the ground, making her wince at the memory of the power her Grandfather had once wielded. A power that had passed onto her, it's crackling energy hidden beneath the skin of her hands.

Her feet came to a stop, slightly overhanging the seemingly endless drop in front of her. Fog whirled about at its bottom, whipping up bouts of cold air that whistled through the cracks in the rock walls.

"You must have been in so much pain," Rey says, her eyes scanning for the bottom of the pit she cannot see. "He drained our bond, stole its essence for himself. It had taken nearly everything out of me, and when I woke up alone... You were thrown down here. You must have hurt so much, your body so broken... but you climbed out. You put yourself through all that suffering, all to get back to me."

Rey turns from the edge of the pit, slowly approaching the Sith throne that seemed to loom over her. It had been damaged by the collapsing ceiling, chunks of it taken out by loose rocks, giving it an even more of a sinister look.

They had both seen the same thing, once upon a time. They had seen Kylo Ren sat upon this very throne, having fought his way to ensure his leadership. And she was sat right there next to him.

Nothing had scared her more- The thought of losing herself, of giving in to the part of her she refused to accept existed, of the temptation that Kylo Ren tried to lure her towards.

' _I offered you my hand, before. You wanted to take it.'_

Oh, how right he was. And at the same time, completely and utterly wrong. There had been that moment, that brief temptation to do as he had asked, to take what he had offered

Because in that brief time, she had caught a glimpse of the man he once was. Who she was trying to save.

_'I did want to take your hand. Ben's hand.'_

And she had in the end, hadn't she? In the last moments of his life, she had felt the skin of the top of his hands. More than that, she had felt the warm skin of his face, felt the creases of his smile.

It had been ingrained into her memory. Never did she think she would ever get to see such a sight. Ben had lived so much of his life hidden behind a mask, living the life of a person he wasn't, that at some point he had found a way to hide further, beyond the mask.

But his eyes... His eyes told a story his face wouldn't. They seemed to be the only thing he couldn't control, had no way to stop how he was truly feeling from spilling through.

As Kylo Ren, they were harsh, the eyes of a dead man being controlled by another puppet. They were often filled with anger, with _hate,_ but then again, those were the types of emotions the Sith didn't shy away from, rather, they encouraged.

The eyes of Ben Solo... It was like looking at a different person. They were soft and _light,_ filled with determination and _hope._ They shone just as brightly as his smile, creasing at the corners with his joy-filled chuckle after she had kissed him, such a look of disbelief, but also _completeness,_ a look she was sure she was mirroring right back at him.

How evil of the Universe, to show her this, to let her feel the way she had, only to take Ben away?

Rey tried to kneel down on the floor more elegantly than she had, but mostly her knees seemed to give out from under her, crashing down to the floor hard enough that was sure it would leave bruises.

He had vanished, gone from the Galaxy, right here where she knelt. She had felt it, right before he dropped. As the smile slipped from his face, so had hers. The bond had never been stronger, practically thrumming with contentness at their two souls finally becoming one. He was still in her arms when it was severed- like someone had taken a pair of scissors and with one sharp cut, split them apart.

It wasn't gone completely. A tether remained, thin and fragile, but holding on strong.

But how long would that last?

"I don't know how much longer I can do this..." Rey confesses, clenching her jaw hard at the burning she felt underneath her eyelids, willing it to go away. "I don't even know if it's working. I might be heading down the wrong road, and I'm scared it'll lead me to do something I regret.  
But you gave your life for me. You gave me this option of choice, and I have to do something with that, right? I... I couldn't possibly live the remainder of my days in peace, knowing I didn't do everything in my power to bring you back where you belong."

It gets increasingly more difficult to force the words out past the lump she feels settled in her throat, swallowing thickly in the hopes she'll push it down and out of the way.

"I used to loathe your voice, you know." Rey tells the dead air, her voice breaking into a watery chuckle. "That stupid, obnoxious muffled voice that came from your mask. Sometimes I could barely understand a word of what you were saying."

The burning in her eyes only seems to increase, sending a fresh trail of tears down her cheeks, to which she absentmindedly raises a cloth-covered arm to wipe away.

"And even without it... You were like a droid, _worse than a droid, really_. Speaking only to get the information across, and that was it. At least... It was. Until the force connected us. Until I began to feel connected to _you,_ began to understand you. You were showing how you were feeling the whole time, I just wasn't _looking."_

At this point, trying to wipe away her tears is a fruitless effort, every set cleared only being replaced by a fresh wave. With a defeated sob, Rey lets her arm drop back to her side, her breaths coming more as pained, uneven intakes of air.

"I wish nothing more than to hear it again." Rey's voice cracks as she speaks, each word shaking with the effort. "I need to hear you speak again. I need you to tell me what to do, Ben. Tell me _how_ to bring you back. Even just a single word, it's all I need, to _know_ you're still out there. Because if you don't, I-"

There it is again.

It's enough to cut her off in her own speech with a somewhat startled gasp, it's sudden appearance nearly making her lose her balance from where she was knelt.

The bond was sparking with life. Just like last time, it was making its presence known, tugging away at the much too fragile tether. Except... Except it wasn't weakening it, as it should. No, it felt more like... Like it was reinforcing it. Like someone was on the other end, patching up and strengthening what they could.

And she, on the other side, was strengthening it too. It was happening without her even realizing, a part of her reaching out to the bond, to whoever was on the other side. The bond was... Being _fed,_ gently coaxing it back to life.

Her breathing was loud in her own ears, echoed yet strangely muted. Her heart beat furiously within her chest despite her body having gone through no exertion, as if it was trying to keep something else alive. Like it was beating for another.

With a sharp snap of thunder and a fork of lightning landing dangerously close, everything comes back to focus. Rey exhales slowly, unsteadily staggering up to her feet, glancing wildly around the dark room.

Her heart was only just beginning to calm its erratic beats, raising a hand to her chest to try and brush away the echoing feeling of it thudding against her ribcage.

"You're still here..." Rey breathed in a whisper. "Maybe I'm going crazy. Maybe I'm trying to find things that aren't really there.  
I know not to ignore my gut. I won't ignore what the Force is trying to tell me, and what _you're_ trying to tell me. I feel it still. I can't feel you, but I feel something there, something connecting me to... _something else._ And I know you're right there, on the other side.  
I just have to find a way to bring you to this side."

* * *

She didn't know where else to go.

There wasn't really much in terms of a plan, and she certainly hadn't found the answers she had been looking for.

Not to say her trips had been for nothing, of course. They had been emotionally draining, sure, but if anything, they had only strengthened her resolve, made her feel more assured that what she was doing was right.

She was on the right path. She _had_ to be. What other answer was there for why the bond had suddenly flared back to life? Why a presence had made itself known, weakly clinging to the end of their bond? So, so very weak, yet somehow had gathered enough strength to step in when she had been in danger?

What she really needed right now was to think. To find a place with peace and quiet, where she could sense nothing but her connection with the force, where there's no one else, nothing else, to distract her from the task at hand.

And really, what better place was there for that then Ahch-To?

A brief smile flittered across her face as she stepped onto the soft green grass of the island, catching sight of the many Porgs hidden within the cracks of the cliff walls, already busy gathering what they can find for their nests.

The last time she was here, she meant to do the same as Luke Skywalker had once done; to live out the remainder of her days in solitude, waiting for the day the Force would finally claim the Last Jedi. The loneliness had been quick to seep deep down into her very core the second she had stepped onto the island, accentuating the rage she felt as she chucked pieces of decaying driftwood into the burning wreckage of Ben's tie-fighter.

She hadn't been alone. She thought she was, only to have Master Luke appear from nothing, grabbing his thrown Lightsaber out of the air before it could burn along with the ship.

That was then. Now, he wasn't here. She was well and truly alone, save for the local wildlife and the natives of the island (who she's sure had begun cursing at her the second they had caught sight of the Falcon entering the atmosphere)

The steep and winding rocky path up the island is as exhausting as it had been the last time she had been here. She hadn't gotten used to it in the short time she had been here, and even knowing how long Luke had lived here and how many times he must have climbed that same path every morning, every day, she still has no clue how he managed to walk it so effortlessly.

The rusting hinges of the metal door that was once part of an X-Wing groaned in protest as she swung it open, stepping into the rocky hut that had once been Master Luke’s home. The gap in the bottom of its circular wall remained from where Luke had removed some sections of rock to take out Leia's saber, having remained hidden for what must have been decades.

The few belongings he had were still scattered around the hut, tucked away in various rocky shelves. They would have been covered in dust by now, if it weren't for the diligent caretakers of the island, still performing their duties even after Luke was gone, and with no one else left to look after.

She could still feel parts of Luke's presence, clinging to here. Just as she had felt a part of Ben, back on Exegol and on Kef Bir. Even now...

Perhaps, after years of living here, Luke had never really wanted to leave. Perhaps he was still here, in a way. Stuck on the island he had isolated himself on, too ashamed to face the reality of what he had done. Of who he had created. 

Luke, in that moment of weakness, had truly feared Ben. Had sensed the darkness that laid within him, sensed the possible path Ben may go down. And in that moment of weakness, he had unknowingly driven Ben down that very same path... 

Ben had so much to live up to. Both Solo and Skywalker blood ran through his veins, and he had tried his best to live to those expectations. Not only that, but from the day of his birth, he had to live with the voices in his head. The voice of his Grandfather, the voice of his future master, only to discover that both were actually the voice of _her_ Grandfather.

He had been manipulated. His _entire_ life, and all for what? To be discarded by the Emperor upon discovering the force bond that connected them?

Palpatine had groomed Ben from the very beginning, had been the monster responsible for the creation of Kylo Ren, for the rising of the First Order. All pushed there, from one moment of fear. From waking up to the sight of his Uncle, his _family,_ the man who had promised to train him in the Light, standing over him with lightsaber in hand.

It had been Lukes biggest regret- of pushing Ben to the dark side. Truthfully, Rey thought it wouldn't have mattered anyway. Kylo would have been created no matter the actions Luke had taken. Palpatine would have found a way...

Her hut still laid in pieces, rubble littering the walkways between the huts from the night Luke had ripped it down, upon discovering...

Discovering something she did not even know at the time. Not completely. She had gone from loathing the sight of Kylo Ren, spitting insults and threats at him, to then be peacefully sat across from him. She had let her walls down and, miraculously, so had he. It was the first real glimpse she had gotten of Ben Solo. The moment she had offered her own hand to him, she could see it there in his eyes. The uncertainty, the hesitation, to do what she wanted.

And when he had finally pulled his glove off, had slowly reached out a hand to meet hers... The _vulnerability_ etched into every line of his face. He was still trying to hide it as best he could, but _that,_ that had been something he couldn't hide.

Not from her.

' _You're not alone.'_

_'Neither are you.'_

Rey knelt on one knee in front of the ruins of what was once her temporary home, picking up a shattered piece of rock that laid nearby. It was rough against the pad of her thumb as she gently trailed it down its surface, flipping over the weathered stone in her hands as she thought.

She _had_ been alone. For so much of her life, counting down the days in solitude, foolishly waiting for the day her parents would return to her. On Jakku, it had been nothing but suffocating silence. The ghostly quietness of the ships she scavenged upon, a vulture swooping in to feed on these mechanical corpses, the only company being the thoughts within her own head.

And then, all of a sudden, there was another. When the Force connected them, it was like she couldn't focus on _anything_ else. In those moments, everything simply ceased to exist, the sounds of life around her, whether it be nature of the island around her, of her friends, of the resistance, it would all... Shut off, like an old radio having its cord pulled out.

Then, it was just _him._ And she knew it was the same for him because he would be stood there, eyes for nothing but her, and in that time, it was easy to forget the Galaxy still continued to exist outside of themselves, only making itself obvious when the Force would finally decide to cut the bond off.

It had been a curse, at the beginning. He had been the one person she despised the most, and it seemed like a cruel joke on the Forces part to, excuse the pun, force them to spend time together, even when they were light years away from one another.

She had gotten used to it, of his presence resting in the back of her mind. It had begun to feel like a part of him was always there with her, this steady comforting presence that spilled from her very being when the Force opened their connection, turning from a feeling in the back of her mind to one that engulfed every fiber of her being.

How many days had she wished it would go away? For things to go back to the way it was?

In the end, it seems someone was listening. She got her wish.

_Now take it back. Give it back to me. Return him to me. Please._

But they weren't listening anymore.

Her knuckles had turned white from the tight grip she had on the rock in her hand, tight enough that her arm had begun to shake slightly from it. She had clenched her teeth so hard that her entire jaw ached, hoping the physical pain would be enough to distract her from her thoughts.

With a pained, agitated, _hopeless_ yell, Rey rears her hand back and launches the rock into the ocean, the anger simmering within her sinking just as quickly as the rock was.

What else was she to do? Spend the rest of her life driving herself crazy, chasing any information, any whispering of a rumor across every inch of the Galaxy? All to achieve something thought not possible?

It still called to her.

That dark place, lurking somewhere beneath her feet. She hadn't been able to resist its temptation when she was here. She had been searching for answers then, too. It hadn't given here them. Or, if it did, she didn't understand what it was trying to say.

After that, she had consoled in Kylo Ren, spilled her innermost fears to the person who was supposed to be her enemy. And in the end, he had been the one to give her the answer she had been looking for, even when the answer only spelled out more trouble, not only for herself but the entire Galaxy. An answer that had led her to Emperor Palpatine, her grandfather. Had led to her death, her revival, the rebirth and then, the death, of Ben Solo.

"You know, I'm starting to feel like a broken record player every time we speak."

Startled, Rey spun around at the familiar gravelly voice, coming face to face with the disgruntled, yet amused, face of Luke Skywalker’s Force Ghost.

"But I'll ask it anyway, Rey. What are you doing? _Again?"_

"I... I don't know..." Rey confessed. "Something...Something-"

"Reckless, I'd imagine." Luke finished with a knowing look. "Something that might end up risking the life of the Last Jedi we know of?"

"I... It... If it comes to it, then-"

"It's not worth the risk."

The sound of the second voice only made her heart ache even more, closing her eyes for a moment just to appreciate the sound of a voice she thought she would never get to hear again, of the closest thing she had to a mother, other than the vague memories of her own.

"I know you're hurting, Rey." Force Ghost Leia spoke softly with a sympathetic smile. "We could both feel it, with the way your emotions have been spilling into the Force."

"Oh, I... I hadn't realized, I'm sorry-"

"It's okay," Leia assured her. "It can be hard to avoid that with strong emotions. Grief being one of them."

Leia was looking to her with such a level of calmness, of content, that Rey had to wonder if she knew? Knew what had happened to her son.

"He's gone." Rey settled on, immediately hating the choice of words for their indirectness "Ben, he's... He's dead."

Leia shared a brief look with her brother, whose eyes rested on the face of his sister, holding there for a moment before turning his sorrowful and apologetic gaze over to Rey.

"We know."

"You felt it then? Felt him... Go?"

"Yes, we did. Just as we had felt when you reached out to us. And as we had felt the beginnings of your soul being reclaimed by the force."

"Is... Is he there with you? As one of you?"

"No," Leia replied, a sad undertone to her voice. "I can feel him, somewhere within the Force, but... It’s like he's not completely here with us."

"Materialising in this form can be quite difficult-" Luke added. "-Some Jedis were known to study it; to master such a task even before the time they would need to use it. I doubt Ben ever had such studies, or ever used such training."

"Do you think he'll ever be able to? Or will he just... Move on?"

Neither answered her question. Whether that was because they didn't know the answer, or if they thought she wouldn't like the answer, Rey didn't know.

"I never got to tell you." Rey said, regretful eyes flicking up to meet Leias. "There was something I meant to tell you before I left. You said to tell me when I get back, but... You were gone."

"I think we were both withholding information from one another," Leia said with an understanding smile "And I'm sorry for that, on my part. I believe we both are."

Leia added the last part with a brandish of her arm to Luke, who nodded in response

"What do you mean?"

"She means that... That we're sorry for not telling you who you really were. Of who your parents were, of whose bloodline you belong to."

"Why didn't you?" Rey asked. "My whole life, I felt like I never really belonged. All this time, I've been searching for them. To know who I really am."

"And that's exactly why we didn't tell you." Leia interrupted. "You had become so obsessed with it, with the idea of _where_ you come from. It doesn't matter _who_ you are, it matters of what you _become,_ of what you do."

"Believe us, Rey, we know this better than anyone." Luke added. "I had lived most of my life believing my father had been slaughtered by the most powerful Sith the world had ever known."

"Whereas I had lived most of my life as an Organa, not even knowing I was a Skywalker."

"And all of a sudden, we've been thrown into this reality where we're both siblings, and our father is Anakin Skywalker; the fallen and disgraced Jedi who become none other than Darth Vader himself." Luke finished, stepping forward to place a pale blue hand on her shoulder. "Some have to live up to their name. Others have to fight to prove they won't go down the same path as those before them. I didn't want that for you, Rey. You shouldn't have to prove to anyone that you're not like the Emperor, even if you do share the same name."

"I still had to fight." Rey argued, shrugging Luke’s hand off her shoulder. "I was a nobody. A nobody who was gifted with the force, a gift I had to prove I deserved."

"You didn't pick this fate, Rey. No one does."

"Neither did Ben."

Luke’s eyes flickered down to the floor in shame, lowering his shoulders and letting a small sigh escape from his mouth.

"It wasn't your fault what happened to him," Rey whispered softly to the shame-filled Skywalker in front of her. "There was no one that could have stopped it." Rey continued, making sure to catch Leia's gaze as she spoke.

"Palpatine had been searching for power ever since he was re-born by the Sith followers. Whether for his own use or for the Empire he hoped to re-create, I don't know. But he sensed that power from Ben the second he was born. From the very start... Ben's path was laid out for him."

"You did reach him." Rey continued, feeling the burn in her throat begin  
"When you reached out, he felt it. It stopped him from... From... Well, Thank you. You saved my life."

"It's good to know he wasn't completely gone, then. In the end."

Rey nodded weakly

"General-"

"Leia." Leia corrected with a smile

"Leia... There's something else you should know. About your son. Master Luke already knows, but I thought I should-"

"I know." Leia interrupted with a half-smile. "I know about you and my son."

"Y-You--You do?"

"Ben and I were also connected, in a way. Not like yours, not at all, but I could feel the way the Force had connected you two."

"I don't really know much about it." Rey admitted. "I think Ben knew more than I did. He told me we were a Dyad in the force."

"A Dyad..." Luke repeated under his breath, disbelief etched across his features. "Yes, of course... It hasn't existed in a long time. Generations, even, but when I saw the two of you in your hut, how you had someone managed to bring him to your location over the Force..."

"What is it, exactly? Do you know what it means?"

"It's a powerful connection," Luke answered. "Though I imagine you knew that already."

"It feels... It feels like it's _more_ than that" Rey tried to explain.

"Because it _is_ more," Leia told her. "You two are connected, yes. Two physical beings, sharing a connection, but in the Force? In the force, you're one. Two halves that have connected."

"That's what makes your bond so powerful." Luke continued "Both you and Ben are very gifted, skilled with the Force. But together? Together, you're more powerful."

"Rey, listen to me." Leia commanded, the seriousness of her tone enough for Rey’s head to snap to her face in attention. "I know you're going through a lot right now. It pains me to know that Ben is gone, just as it pains you. You've quite literally lost your other half, and everything feels wrong right now. You feel out of balance, and so now you're searching for a way to right it again, aren't you? And the only way you think you know how to do that is to bring my son back."

"Do you...Do you know how?" Rey dared to ask. "Is there a way?"

"No," Leia replied, one single word somehow enough to crush Rey under its weight. "And even if we did, we wouldn't say how."

"W--What? Why not"

"Bringing the dead back to life is an almost unknown process." Luke told her gently. "Such a thing... It's a dark power, Rey. It leads to no good. The fight may be over for now, but there will be more to come. There's so many responsibilities resting on your shoulders now Rey, and I don't envy you for that. Hope is the greatest gift we can give to the people, and knowing there's still a Jedi out there somewhere fighting for them? That gives them hope. Rey, you know how important you are-"

"And if you know of our bond, then you know how important Ben is to me." Rey interrupted fiercely. "I have to try."

"I know you do." Leia responded with a soft sigh. "Believe me Rey, this wasn't the future I wanted for my son. I wish things could have gone better, but this is what happened."

"We can't stop you from going down this path, Rey." Luke spoke. "We've given you all the training we can give. It's up to you to make your own choices now. All we can ask of you is to think if this is what you really want. If _you_ think it's the right thing to do."

"What if I don't know?"

"That's why we want you to think about it." Leia said, both hers and Luke’s outlines already getting fuzzier and hard to see. "So that when you do make your decision, you're ready to face whatever is required."

With just a few more blinks, the two figures in front of her had faded away.

Once again leaving Rey completely and utterly alone.

* * *

This was a bad place.

It had called out to her before. Tempted her to drop down into its dark depths. And she had given in to those calls.

She had been seeking answers. She hadn't understood what it had been trying to tell her, but it had given her its answer, in a way.

It had led her to Ben.

Maybe it would give her an answer now.

The inky black vines that wrapped around the opening of the cave were tough and slippery under Rey’s feet, making it difficult to find purchase. Those same muted whispers were echoing from below, beckoning her closer.

Rey lifted her head from the dark abyss for long enough to gaze at the sunset of Ahch-To, bathing in the last of the day's warmth that radiated across her face.

"I'm ready."

With a deep breath, Rey stepped over the edge.

It was only a few seconds of blind free fall before her feet hit the cold water, sinking down further under its surface. With a few kicks of her legs, Rey propelled herself up and out of the water, taking in a lungful of mildly salty air as she kicked to keep herself afloat.

Her hand slapped down hard on the edge of the floor, it's sound echoing around the cavern. Rey pulled herself up and over the edge, wincing at the pressure on her still tender hand. Once she gets one leg up onto the rocky floor, she pushes the rest of her body up, jumping up to her feet.

There it was. Just as menacing as it had been when she had last stood in front of it.

Rey forced her feet to move, taking timid steps forward, inching closer and closer to... To what exactly? To finding what she's been looking for? To Ben?

Or her downfall?

No. She couldn't hesitate now.

Her feet came to a stop, barely able to see her own reflection in its bleak and murky gray surface, so dull that not even her sharp breaths were fogging up the reflection.

Slowly, she lifts her hand up to the mirror, fingers hovering mere millimeters away, so close to touching its smooth surface.

"Show me what I need to do." Rey whispers to the mirror. The echoing whispers in the cave repeated her own question, gradually building in volume until it was roaring through her ears. "Show me how to bring him back."

Rey brought her fingers closer to the mirror, feeling a strange sort of pull coming from it, pulling her in even closer. She felt her heart quicken in her chest as a second dark figure faded into existence within the reflection, standing off slightly to the back. Her fingers were so close to the mirror now, the foggy gray cover of the mirror dissolving away the closer she got...

" _Don't. Rey, please don't..."_

The achingly familiar voice was enough for her fingers to stop in their movement, her whole body seemingly frozen to the spot. Inside the mirror, she saw her own face reflected back at her, just as last time.

But the second figure was still there. And now, as she gazed within the cleared mirror, her breath caught in her throat as she saw the pleading face of Ben Solo.

Was this a test? A trick of the mirror, an illusion? A trial of some sort, making sure she wouldn't back down?

" _Rey, stop. Step away."_

"You know I can't do that." Rey told the reflection, trying her best to keep her voice steady. "I can't let you stop me. I can't let _anyone_ stop me."

" _Just step away from the mirror, Rey. Please, turn around. Look at me."_

Rey felt her brow pinch into a frown at what the reflection had asked. Her fingers still hovered near the mirror, still beckoning her forward.

But there was something else. Something else pulling her _away_ now. It wasn't as strong as whatever was calling her to the mirror, but its feeling was more... _tempting._ Something that told her she had to listen.

Her hand dropped away from the mirror, falling down to her side as she spun on the spot, expecting to be met with the sight of an empty cave, and the small bit of water she had landed in.

That's not what she saw.

She saw what the mirror had shown her.

There, right in front of her, was Ben Solo. His face shone with obvious relief, his posture relaxing from its tense hold. What was more startling was what she hadn't seen in the mirror; the faint, fuzzy blue outline that covered him.

"Ben?"

Rey stepped towards him in a daze, slow and unsteady steps as her eyes roamed across his face. He looked just as he had before he had gone; wavy hair that was ruffled in such a Solo way, his usual dark black clothing, so much more casual than the attire she had been used to seeing him (although this set was, thankfully, missing the singed holes, blood and ripped tears)

"Hey." He breathed out quietly, the corner of his lips twitching up briefly.

"You... Are... Are you really here?" Rey asked shakily, part of her still believing this to be some cruel trick from the mirror

"I never went away."

She was stood right in front of him now, head slightly craned to meet his soft gaze, warm brown eyes melting into her own.

"You've been with me?"

"The whole time." Ben whispered in response. "I never left your side."

His fingers twitched by his side, lifting his hand slightly before dropping it back down to where it was.

"I'm sorry."

Rey frowned at his apology, taken aback and partly bewildered by it.

"What for?"

"A lot, I suppose." Ben answered with a grimace. "It's been... Difficult. Every time you called out to me, and I had to watch you grieve for me, it... It tore me apart to be so close to you, to whisper reassurances in your ear, knowing you'll never hear them."

"Sometimes, I... I thought I could sense you. I know, I shouldn't have put everything I had into that, give up everything on just a feeling, but... I would never be able to mistake that feeling, the feeling of... _you._ But... I felt like I was going insane, constantly able to _feel_ you here with me, but I couldn't _see_ you-"

"I tried." Ben said, taking an extra step closer to Rey, almost crowding into her space, his imposing figure towering over her. "I wanted to, Rey. Materializing yourself within the force, its... It's difficult, to say the least, even for the most experienced and trained of Jedi. I... I wasn't trained in those ways..."

"It's not your fault..." Rey insisted, finally giving in to her desires and reaching out a shaking, unsteady hand, bringing it closer and closer to rest on the side of his face...

Only for her hand to go straight through.

Ben's eyes slid over to her outstretched hand that had seemingly gone straight through him, a sheen of remorse and sorrow shining within as he returns his gaze to hers.

"I've been trying to reach you for so long, but it didn't seem possible. I think perhaps the energy in this cave is the only thing that's allowing me to appear.  
But physical manipulation... I... I don't know how to do that. It was never in any of Snokes teachings and all of this, it--It was something I never expected."

"Because you never expected to die." Rey continued his sentence for him, shaking her head in guilt. "That you... You would have to give yourself up, your life, just for-"

" _Don't say that._ " Ben commanded sharply. "Don't you blame yourself for the choice I made. And no, it's not because I never expected to die. If anything, that's what I was most certain of."

"Of... Dying?"

"Power was the most important thing to Snoke. A teaching he passed onto me. I knew that someday, there would be one more powerful than him, than me, and I would meet my end then.  
I was at peace with that. The thing is...I didn't think I would have use for interacting with the force after I was gone. That I would need to show myself, that I... I would have this need, this... _yearning_ to touch another. I suppose you've changed everything for me, Rey."

"Ben, I... I'm so sorry."

Now it was Ben's turn to frown down at her for her apology. Rey fought down the urge to smile despite the turmoil she felt inside at the sight of his head cocking to the side, his inquisitive eyes scanning across her face.

The confused expression quickly melted away, and she could tell from his expression that he had already figured out what she was apologizing for. Sometimes she wondered if their bond let him have access to her thoughts, without her even knowing.

"Rey..." Ben uttered quietly, already shaking his head at her. "You have _nothing_ to apologize for."

"Yes, I do." Rey argued back. "You didn't have to do what you did. Ben, you gave up your _life_ for me, and that's a debt I can never give back."

"You don't _have_ to, Rey. That's the point. You did something I thought impossible: You made me happy. You gave me back this feeling of _hope,_ and you made sure I felt that, right until the end. I died _happy,_ Rey.  
I've done a lot of bad in my life. I thought I had the freedom of choice, that I had made the decisions I had. Now I know that's not the case. My _whole_ life, I had been controlled by someone else. All my choices had been made _for_ me. The only choice I ever got to make was to sacrifice myself for you. And I will _never_ regret that."

Ben raised his arm up to Rey’s to curl his hand around her bicep, a frustrated sigh escaping his lips when it passes straight through.

"But it's not fair." Rey whispered up to him. "I thought..."

"You thought what?"

Rey shook her head, taking in a deep intake of breath as the familiar burn of tears began to build in her eyes.

"I thought things would end differently. For you, for us, I... I was so sure of it. When we touched hands and the force showed me your future-- _our_ future--You turned to the light, stood by my side-"

"And I did." Ben agreed. "You helped get me there. Even if I knew what would happen, to decide whether to live in the Dark, or die in the Light? I would make the same choice, every time. I need you to know that I'm _okay,_ Rey. If this is how it ends for me, if I have to exist in this way to keep you safe? I'm okay with that."

Rey shook her head at his statement, turning away from Ben and taking a few steps away, rubbing her hands down her face to wipe away the building tears in her eyes.

"Rey, you have to stop blaming yourself for this. I've seen what you've been doing, the places you've been going. You're trying to bring me back, aren't you?"

"Not you too," Rey spoke sharply, spinning around quickly on the spot. "Every person I've spoken to keeps telling me I shouldn't be doing this. I feel like I'm the only person who wants you back!"

"Probably because you are."

Rey opened her mouth to disagree, only to have Ben cut her off with a wave of his hand

"You know it's true, Rey. The person I became-"

"The person you _were_ isn't who I'm trying to bring back."

"That doesn't mean all my past actions are forgotten, and they're certainly not forgiven. I carry those sins with me every day. The effects of what I've done still impact countless people across the Galaxy, and probably will do for years and years from now."

"Ben, we can figure that out. We can do more to _help_ people, you and I. But first I need _you."_

"You don't need me, Rey." Ben said with a soft smile. "You're capable of more than you know. You're destined for so much more. This path you're set on, of driving yourself near death, just to bring me back? It's too dangerous. Don't risk yourself like that, Rey. Don't make such a risk for nothing."

"It's not nothing!" Rey yelled, stomping towards Ben who took a startled step back at her outburst. "You're not nothing! Not to me!"

"Rey..."

"You can't expect me to just give up. Not when everything inside me is screaming at me how wrong such a thing would be. This whole time, I was _sure_ I was on the right path. The force was leading me down it-"

"Rey-"

"-And I thought you were too-"

"Rey!"

Ben's sharp tone was enough for her sentence to die off, her name echoing around the cavern, surrounding them.

"There has been something leading you down this path, yes." Ben's voice reverted back to his usual smooth and calming tones. "It probably felt familiar to you, but it wasn't me. Not entirely."

"What?"

"There's a reason it felt familiar. It's part of the reason why I'm stuck here, in this state. Unable to pass on. Being a dyad is more than just a connection. In the eyes of the physical world, we exist as two separate beings. But in the eyes of the force? We are only one. Two halves of a soul, connected."

"You're trapped here... Because of me?"

"Partly." Ben admitted with a sheepish look. "The bond between us is keeping me here, unwilling to let me go. You're feeding just enough of your own energy through the bond to keep me tied here. I've... I've been trying to sever it."

The confession felt like a punch to the gut, enough so that she took a step back from him.

"Why? Why would you do that?"

"Because I knew if I didn't, you would never give this up. Give _me_ up, and I... I can't let you torture yourself like that. It doesn't matter, anyway. He won't let me."

Something dark clouded over Ben's expression, a mix between a scowl and a grimace crossing his face.

"A dyad in the force is... A rare thing. Us, however... The situation is different." Ben continued.

"Different how?"

"The connection was supposed to connect our souls as one. The problem is, my soul had already been split. Part of me, the one you see now, exists as Ben Solo. The other..."

"Kylo Ren..." Rey finished in a breathy tone. "But... But that's not _you_ anymore-"

"No, it's not." Ben agreed. "Kylo Ren is dead, killed when you pierced me with his own saber. When that part of me--when _he_ left me, it helped to set me free, to live as the person I once was. Problem is... He was waiting for me, waiting for our soul to be reconnected."

"And... Are you?"

"No." Ben told her "Not yet. He can't. Not until we've been returned to our physical forms. Rey, you need to understand. Every piece of sith training I received, all the knowledge I gained under the dark side... I gained as Kylo Ren. As Ben Solo? I have the small amount of training I received from Luke before this all started. Now that we've been separated, _he_ is the one that's infinitely more powerful than me.”

"And what does _he_ want?"

"I think you know." Ben replied sadly. "He's doing everything in his power to make sure you see this through. That, somehow, you'll find a way to bring us back to the physical realm. Even if it means you have to die for it."

"This whole time..." Rey whispered in horror. "The push I've felt through our bond, the visions, leading me to your lightsaber...Was it...Was it _him_ that saved me, when I slipped off that wreckage?"

"I tried to save you," Ben said, that familiar look of guilt she had seen recently shining through his eyes. "But as I said, I'm... I'm just not powerful enough."

"Why would _he_ save me?"

"I'd imagine it's because you wouldn't be much use to him dead. He knows you're the key to bringing us back, so he'll do all he can to keep you alive, until..."

"Until I die for the right purpose." Rey added bitterly

"Which is why I'm begging you, Rey; _Stop this._ If being alive again means I have to live without you, then I don't want it-"

"How can you say that when it's exactly what _I_ have to live with!"

"Because I'm already dead!"

"So was I!"

Ben huffed agitatedly at her, running his fingers through his hair and pulling at the strands in his frustration.

"You think I wanted this?" Ben finally asked, dropping his hands back down to his side. _"Of course,_ if there was some reality where the both of us had made it out of that place unscathed, free to live the rest of our lives as we please, I would take that in a heartbeat. But that's not what happened."

"So what _do_ you want? Do you want to exist in this hell?"

"What I _want_ is for you to move on and live the life I gave you. I want you to go find your own happiness out there, whether that be within the resistance, or if you return back to your old life of scavenging in the desert, or within making your own family. I just want you to be _happy,_ Rey."

"I _can't,_ Ben-“

"Yes, you _can-"_

"No, you don't get it, do you? I _can't_ have that. I can never be happy with that. Not without you."

"You'll find a way. I know you will. You _have_ to. This? This is not the way. Rey, I cant... I can't watch you die again. Seeing you that way, it... Its a sight I can't bear."

"And if I _don't_ do this? You'll forever haunt me, Ben. Even if I can't see you or hear you, I'll know you're there. I'll be able to sense your presence.  
I'll have to forever live with the memory of you fading away, of falling from my arms, so _no,_ I can't find happiness in that."

"Rey, please... Let me make this decision for myself. Let me keep you safe."

"I'm sorry..."

"Rey, don't-"

"It's my choice as much as it's yours. And I don't see any other way."

"Yes, there is! Walk away, get out of this place!"

Rey had never seen Ben plead so desperately, so earnestly. Not even when he was asking for her to take his hand did he look so desperate.

There was true fear on his face, the look enough for her to hesitate for a moment, especially as his eyes bore into her own.

Her eyes scanned over his face, taking in every last detail she could see, preserving it for memory's sake before she closed her eyes from his pleading eyes.

She could still see the outline of him, even with her eyes closed. Rey took deep, measured breaths, in and out, falling into that steady rhythm she knew so well after her year of training on Ajan Kloss under Leia's watchful eye.

_Be with me._

_Focus._

Rey does as she's told. She focuses on everything that surrounds her; of the solid, uneven surface of the rough rock underneath her feet. The cold chill of the wind that whipped around the cave, its gentle caresses raising goosebumps all along her exposed skin. The mild salty scent of the water that surrounded her, it's current so still compared to the raging ocean that laid just outside this cave, just above the two of them.

She focuses on Ben; unable to physically see him, and yet, so clearly able to feel his presence, as clear as if she was looking at him right now. Focuses on the feel of him pushing against their bond, still so desperate to reach her, to stop her from doing what she must.

_There._

She focuses on the bond.

That thin, fraying strand that connected them. So damaged and weathered, both by Ben's death and, as she had come to discover, his determined attempts to break their bond and set her free, even when being free from him is something she would _never_ want.

Not anymore.

_Focus, Rey. More Focus._

Rey outstretched her hand, reaching out for the cord connecting them. It didn't exist, at least not physically, yet it felt as real as anything else when she wrapped her hand around it, it's surface so rough under her skin.

_Be with me._

It leans into her touch, like a wounded animal begging for help, for her to take away its pain. Her hands tighten around it, her eyes scrunching up from the effort as she focuses on keeping her breaths steady.

Rey feels the first of it begun to slip away from her. It slides down her arm, pushing through her fingers and into the cord. She even senses the feeling of her life force as it slowly snakes its way through the cord, feels as it reaches out for the man on the other side.

She even feels when something else is returned from the other side.

For the briefest of moments, Rey almost lets her emotions get the better of her, let the short burn of anger she feels break her focus because _of course,_ Ben would reject her life force. Of course, he would try to send it back to her.

Except... Except it _wasn't._ It was... It was something else, a part of Ben, breaking away and pushing down the opposite direction of their bond, pushing towards her.

_Focus._

Rey doesn't even register when it reaches her, doesn't even think about how her entire being seemed to be reaching for it just as it was reaching for her, didn't even flinch when it attached itself to her, melding into herself, becoming _part_ of herself.

Everything had faded now. Nothing mattered, nothing else _existed._ All she knew of was herself, and the bond she held so intensely in her grip. The cave no longer existed. How could it, when she's no longer able to feel its surface under her feet? Could no longer taste nor smell the salty air she breathed? Could no longer hear the roaring wind that howled outside, the crashing waves that pounded relentlessly at the cliff wall, or the echoing drip of the water droplets as they fell to the ground?

She couldn't even hear Ben anymore, couldn't hear him just there on the other side, right in front of her, couldn't hear his broken and tear-filled voice as he begged her to stop.

But she doesn't stop.

Not until she feels it shift. The steady strengthening of the bond underneath her fingertips, smooth and solid, no longer rough and fragile and ready to tear apart. Their bond practically hums with contentment, not just surrounding her, but cocooning the two of them in its comforting buzz.

Rey releases her grip on the bond, gently prying her own fingers away from its surface. She exhales slowly as she drops her hand back down, her eyelids flickering back open.

Ben was stood just a few steps away from her, his eyes open wide in panic and something close to awe. His eyes moved from their scanning of her face to look down at himself, raising his own arms up in front of him with a sense of wonderment.

His eyes flicked back to her then, holding her gaze as he slowly lowered his arms back down.

It was with a jolt that she realized what was missing, what seemed so off.

_His blue glow... It was gone..._

Her mouth opened and closed uselessly, no clue as to what to say to him in this moment, too afraid to ask if any of this was real, if it had worked, if he was really right there in front of her, as alive as she was now.

"Ben..." Is all her exhausted brain can come up with as she takes unsteady and unsure steps towards him, his eyes keeping track of her every moment as he remains frozen in shock.

Rey comes to a stop right in front of him, her eyes glued to his face, a terrified part of her expecting to see him fade away once more. Hesitantly, she raises an arm between them, ever so slowly lowering her hand to his chest.

Her hand doesn't pass through.

A startled gasp escaped her lips as her hand makes contact, feeling the solid warmth of his skin underneath the scratchy material of his shirt. Her other hand shoots up to hold his arm, whether to steady herself or to further prove to herself that he was still there, she wasn't sure. Ben’s arm had moved the same time as she had, wrapping around the top of her arms as he looked down to her hand on his chest, removing one hand from her arm to cover her hand with his own as he returns his gaze to her face.

She feels Ben’s hands delicately caress the make-shift gauze she had wrapped around her hand, his fingers gently tugging away what was once his shirt, pulling it away from her hand and dropping it the floor. Ben runs his thumb tenderly across the still healing wound, every so carefully pressing his palm against hers and wrapping his fingers around the back of her hand as he closes his eyes.

A warmth seems to emit from his hand, a warmth too strong for that of just his body heat. It goes as quick as it comes, and as he slowly pulls his hand away from her hand, she is greeted by the sight of smooth, unbroken skin. The wound had gone completely, not even leaving a scar.

"Good to know I don't die _every_ time I do that." Ben whispers down to her, the corner of lips pulling into the smallest of smirks.

Rey blinks up at him, the last of her shock beginning to ebb away as she feels her mouth pull into a smile, a light huff escaping her at his comment. The sound of it is enough to widen Ben's smile, who chuckles lightly at her exasperated shake of the head.

The smile slips from his face when she stops shaking her head, her head still hung low. Ben feels his brows pinch together in worry as her grip on his arm weakens, tightening his hold around her as he feels her begin to drop to the ground, no longer able to support her weight.

"Rey?" Ben asks fearfully as she continues to drop, keeping a secure hold around her as her back hits the floor. _"Rey!"_

It had felt like his heart had gone from beating furiously within his chest to having stopped completely, rising up to his throat and making him feel like he was about to be sick. Rey remained motionless in his arms, and it was like he was right back on Exegol, having to stare at her still form, a sight he never wanted to see again.

"Come on, please, you... You can't _do_ this to me. _Not again."_

Ben curled his hand around hers, holding it tightly in his grasp where it rested against her torso. His lower jaw wobbled as he fought the urge to sob, lowering his head down to rest against hers as he took shaky breaths to calm himself down.

Blinking away the tears that were swimming in the bottom of his eyes, he pulled his head away from hers with another shaky breath, looking down at her. She wasn't fading away, not as he had. It felt like he was reliving his worst nightmare, his worst memory, really. Her skin had already begun to pale, turning to an almost ashen gray color, so similar yet so different to the rock she laid upon.

_Why couldn't she have listened? Why had she done this, knowing of the potential consequences? Existing in the world of the dead, unable to communicate with her had been its own type of Hell. Having to live in a world where she's gone completely? That was a worse type of Hell._

"You are not dying." Ben said firmly, wrapping both of his hands around hers and holding them tight, squeezing his eyes shut in concentration. "Not for me."

He summons the life force swirling around inside of him, quite literally scraping the bottom of the barrel for what he can. Something was... Off about it. Something that wasn't entirely him, resting within himself. It laid within himself like it belonged, like it was meant to exist there. Something, a part of him was _gone,_ and now this foreign essence sat in its place.

He couldn't focus on that right now. Instead, with a heart-crushing feeling of dread, he focuses on how little of his own life force he can feel. Not dread for himself, no, not in the slightest. It was the sickening realization that what he had _wasn't enough._ He was weak, already drained of what little power he had, and now the small part he had left was barely keeping himself alive. It would do _nothing_ for her.

_He couldn't bring her back_

The calming breathing wasn't working anymore. His breaths were no way near calm and steady, instead the air forced its way in and out of his lungs in an erratic, panicked movement, each inhalation of air burning its way down his windpipe.

Ben attempts to swallow it all down, holding his breath for one big moment as he squeezes his eyes shut as hard as he can, refusing to let go of her hand still securely held within his grasp. His brain couldn't seem to make up its mind as to what he should be feeling right now, and so it's no surprise that all he ends up being able to focus on is the burn of anger swelling within his chest. His body no longer shakes with grief, only this unrelenting fury at _everything,_ for the entire universe for _daring_ to take her away from him.

His lips pull away to bare teeth clenched together in a snarl as he slowly re-opens his eyes, an agonized, hate-filled yell bursting from within his chest, rebounding off the sides of the cave walls, echoing all around him, repeating his own screech back at him for what feels like an eternity.

It's not until the echoes finally die away that he hears the sound of rocks crumbling and breaking apart.

Somewhere not too far above him, the ground had begun to shake. Small yet powerful tremors that shook so intensely, its power cracking the yin-yang symbol that sat in that room not too far away clean in half. The floor continued to break apart, pushing down further into the rock until, with a loud _crack,_ the ceiling of the cave right above Ben's hand had begun to crack apart.

The loud sound was enough of a distraction for Ben to tear his eyes away from Rey’s still form, slowly tilting his head back until he catches sight of the large crack in the ceiling. Ben unsteadily gets to his feet, his eyes tracking the split as it continues across the ceiling of the cave, creating a pattern of lightning forks as it travels. The crack reaches the edge of the ceiling, traveling further down the wall. His breath hitches in his throat as it reaches the mirror and, with a final tremor, he watches as the crack forces its way down to the ground. There it stops, leaving the mirror with a large, jagged line down its middle, splitting it completely in half.

Even as broken as it was now, he still felt it calling to him. In a few steps, he finds himself in front of the mirror, stood on what was now the left side of the split mirror, reaching out a hand to its surface. Before his hand can get anywhere near close to touching the smooth metal, the gray begins to clear away.

Staring back at him, was himself. Not all too surprising, as that was the purpose of mirrors. But the man standing in front of him... Something was _wrong._ Dead eyes stared back at him, moving across his face the same time his own eyes scanned across the reflections face.

Ben held his hand out in front of himself, slowly rotating his hand until his palm was facing him, to which the mirror copied. He dropped his hand back down to his side, as did the mirror, and cocked his head slightly to the side as he regarded his reflection.

But the reflection didn't do that.

The reflection held his gaze for a few seconds more before he leisurely began to glance down to his side. Ben followed his gaze, feeling his heart sink at the sight of his old lightsaber attached to the hip of his reflection. His reflection yanked the saber out of its holder, bringing it up in front of him, gazing down at the awfully familiar object in his hands. The reflections eyes flicked back up to him for a split second before turning his head to look over his shoulder at...

At _Rey._ She was reflected in the mirror just as she was now; a corpse laying in a dark cave. His reflection kept his sights locked onto her corpse with lightsaber still in hand, held just in front of him. It feels like much too long that his reflection gazes at her dead body until finally, he turns his head back to face Ben, that dead look still in his eyes.

With a flick of his thumb, the reflection lights up in a red glow. Ben could almost feel the heat emitting from his old lightsaber, taking a step back from the mirror in his shock and horror. His reflection smirks at his reaction, though this one full of nothing but malice and humor at his suffering.

' _You know this is who you are._ ' The figure whispers from the other side of the mirror, the sound echoing throughout the entire cave.' _You know this is where you'll always end. There's no escaping it. You can't escape me. Because I. Am. You._ '

"No!" Ben yelled, walking further back from the sight in front of him. "No, that's not me! Not anymore!"

' _We belong together._ ' the figure insisted, stretching out his free hand to him. ' _Follow me. Join me. Become me.'_

At Ben's silence, the figure dropped its hand. Its smirk still remained in place though, stretching even further across his face as it shrugged his shoulders at him. The blank gray background behind him slowly began to fade away, replaced by a burning forest, dark smoke clouding the air that made it almost impossible to see the frightened villagers sat in the background, huddled together as they watch him.

' _Your choice._ ' The figure continued, lifting the lightsaber up in front of him.  
' _But you'll return here, someday. It's fate. It's meant to be.'_

There's nothing Ben can do. Nothing but watch in horror and disgust as his figure turns away from him, striding towards the shaking villagers. Ben closed his eyes, but it did nothing to stop him from hearing them beg for their lives, only to be cut off by the humming swing of a saber, to be replaced by the screams of pain, the cries of a mother who just watched their child be brutally murdered.

_"Ben..."_

A whisper. A single word, the call of his name. So softly spoken, yet so much louder than anything else. It's not until Ben drops his hands that he realizes he had clasped them around his ears in an attempt to block out the horrific sounds, opening his eyes to see the part of the mirror he was stood in front of had now returned to its usual gray-colored self.

_"Ben..."_

There it was again. Someone was calling for him from... From the other side of the mirror?

His feet move sluggishly, pulling him towards the other side of the mirror. Standing in front of it, staring into its swirling gray colors, a sense of peace and contentment washed over him, whispering to him that it was okay. He steps closer to the mirror, reaching out his hand once more.

There's... A woman. She has her back to him, dressed in a long flowing robe that looks light and airy, wrapping around her legging-clad legs. She stood bare feet, on what exactly he couldn't say, as the mirror had yet to reveal anything else. Her rich brown hair cascaded down her back, messy yet in a way that was styled. It...It suited her.

A few blinks later and she was no longer standing on nothing. She appeared to be stood on a hill, or at least an incline of some sort. The vibrant green grass under her feet looked soft and lush, spreading out far into the distance and only coming to a stop when it was met with a wall of tall, tropical-looking trees that Ben could only assume led further into some sort of jungle.

Further out in the distance was a cozy looking house, quite like a cottage, sat atop a small hill, tucked neatly away not too far from the opening of the jungle. The base of the hill opened up to a crystal clear lake, sparkling in what seemed like the last light of the day, muted oranges dancing off the surface of the water. The surface of the water had been disturbed by the two children splashing about in the lake and, if Ben listened closely enough, he could swear he could hear their delighted giggles and squeals as they played together.

Another figure appeared off to the side, approaching the two children in the water. Ben squinted at the figures, but found he was unable to make out any of their features, only appearing as a silhouette against the backdrop of the fading sunset. Their voices only seemed to grow louder and more excitable as the man approached. The two children rushed over to the other figure, tugging at their hand and pulling them towards the water with them.

The figure seemed to resist momentarily before allowing himself to be pulled closer to the water, his own deep booming laughter joining in with their high pitched giggles as the two bombarded the man, jumping up and clinging on to him as they pulled him down into the water with him. All the while, this mysterious woman kept where she stood, watching the people in the distance just as he was.

It's not too long later that the man was finally able to drag the kids out from the water, both kids rushing to keep up with his long strides as he made his way up towards the woman, their small hands engulfed in the man's giant paws.

The man crested the top of the hill, both children still trying their best to match his pace with their tiny legs. As they approached the top of the hill, the sun shone down on all four of them, lighting their features, and punching all the air from Ben's chest.

The man was dressed in a simple-looking shirt, it's material thin and light-colored, stuck to his skin after getting soaked in the lake, similar to his dark-colored slacks that and been rolled up by the ankle, revealing bare feet, just the same as the woman he was now looking to in affection, and complete and utter _happiness._

It was... It was _him._

The little boy by his side had a mop of jet black hair, tangled in an unruly mess that he was all too familiar with growing up, having his mother ruffle his hair with complaints of how long he was going to let the nest on his head grow out.

The little girl on his other side had her honey-brown hair tied up in little pigtails. It looked like there had been an attempt to brush out the slight curl to her hair, but it could still be clearly seen, even when tied up. Ben could see that she shared the same sprinkling of freckles across her face as her brother did.

As he did...

It wasn't the only thing the two siblings shared, also sharing his hazel brown eyes, to which both sets were staring up at the two adults in front of them with obvious adoration.

These were... These were _his_ children, weren't they? But... How?

Ben had been so trapped in his own mind, his thoughts too quickly racing away from him that he hadn't even realized the other Ben in the reflection had turned his focus to him. The other Ben kept his eyes locked on him as he ever so slightly leaned closer to the woman, murmuring something to her that he couldn't hear.

His reflection smiled warmly at him, looking down to the children at his side and taking both their hands once more, crouching down to their height and pointing to Ben on the other side as he spoke to them with a smile still on his face. The children looked away from their father to Ben, smiles breaking across their faces as they waved giddily at him. Ben felt the burning of tears at the corner of his eyes as he weakly waved back, their smiles much too infectious for him not to copy, even though he could feel the tears begin to slide down his face.

' _You can still have this, you know.'_ His reflection told him sincerely, this one's voice much lighter than the others  
' _You can find this for yourself.'_

Ben shook his head at his reflection, a broken sob catching in his chest as he looked at the happy family

"I can't...Not without her."

His reflection shot him a small smile, quite different from the sneer his other reflection had given him.

' _Who said it would be without her?'_

The woman finally turned, her back no longer to him, and as Ben caught sight of her face, he had to resist every urge he felt to reach out to the mirror for her.

"Rey..."

Ben shook his head even fiercer, clenching his jaw so hard he was sure his teeth would crack and shatter.

 _'It's your choice, Ben.'_ The reflection continued, wrapping one arm around Rey and the other around his children, pulling them in closer.  
' _Others may have controlled your past, but it's up to you to decide your future. You, and no one else.'_

"What does it matter?" Ben asked miserably. "She's gone. Nothing will change that."

The reflection regarded him for a moment, looking him up and down before glancing at something behind him. There wasn't anything there, not that Ben could see anyway, yet he stated at the empty background like there was.

' _I'm not too sure about that.'_ His reflection told him.  
' _And I don't think you are, either.'_

Ben didn't even have any time to comprehend what that meant before the family begun to turn away from him, all four figures not with their backs to him

"Wait!" Ben called out desperately, his nose almost pressed against the mirror he was so close. "What am I supposed to do?"

' _You choose.'_ His reflection answered simply, throwing the response over his shoulder as he continued to walk towards the distance.

' _You can follow me. Or you can follow him_.'

With a glance over to the other side of the mirror, Ben took a deep breath and held his hand out in front of him, slowly reaching for the retreating family in front of him, closer to where the surface of the mirror should be...

Only for his hand to go straight through, disappearing into the vision. There was barely any hesitation from Ben. Didn't give it a second thought before pushing one leg forward, and then the other, throwing himself through the mirror, and what he assumed would be another world, another _reality_ perhaps.

He doesn't step into the rich green world he had seen. He doesn't step into a world where he has two adoring kids, a world where he has Rey by his side, living in a quaint house by a lake.

Instead, he steps into darkness.

Quietness. Stillness.

He blinks rapidly, willing his eyes to adjust to the darkness of wherever he is, only to see...

He was back in the cave again.

The mirror had spat him out right back where he was. It seemed like it had been its cruelest trick yet, to take him in his most vulnerable moment, to show him something he never thought attainable, to offer that to him... Only to remind him of the truth. It was practically laughing in his face...

"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!" Ben screamed to the skies, throwing his arms up beside him with his head thrown back. "I HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO GIVE! _NOTHING!_ YOU HEAR ME?! NOTHING!"

No one answered. Only the echo of his own torn voice replaying in his ears.

Ben closed his eyes, his shoulders sagging in defeat as he buried his face into his hands. It took much more effort than it should have to pull his hands away again, glancing miserably over to where Rey's corpse had laid.

Ben had to blink a few times to make sure that the double figures he was seeing were not a result of the tears that blurred his vision. Rey was still laid where she was, except there was _another_ her. Copied exactly, laid out by her side in the same position but... The other her seemed to be somewhat _floating_ just above the ground. Not only that, but the other her was covered in an unnatural looking ethereal glow, its pale blue light giving a limited amount of light to the dark cave they currently resided in. It was familiar, in fact, it almost looked like...

Like a ghost.

Ben startled as the realization hit him, forcing him to take a step back, his back clashing with the solid mirror behind him, it's surface cool against his back. What caught his attention the most though was the sight of Rey's ghost appearing to _jump_ away from Rey's corpse, moving a few inches to the side. If he wasn't mistaken, her ghost seemed to have moved away at the same time he had taken a step back.

A step away from her...

So what if...?

Ben swallowed harshly, a swarm of nerves and anticipation clouding his usually focused mind. He pushes out the lungful of air he hadn't even realized he had been holding, keeping his sights tracked on nothing but Rey and Rey alone as he takes one timid step forward...

And as he does, her ghost inches closer too.

Ben takes another step, this one longer, bringing him even closer.

Her ghost jumps just as close, the glowing blue outline overlapping her gray skin.

Ben takes another step.

And another.

Then another.

And then he's running, footsteps pounding against the rocky floor as he races to her side, his heart racing the closer he gets, the closer he watches her ghost get to her very center, settling down into her core and merging, disappearing just under her skin with a faint glow.

His knees hit the floor hard as he drops to the floor, skidding to a stop by her side as the last of the glow begins to fade, leaving them with the gentle glow of the moonlight filtering in through the cave's entrance above them.

"Come on..." Ben mutters under his breath, scooping her up into his arms and cradling her close. "Come on, Rey... _Come on."_

She still wasn't moving. Not a twitch of a muscle, no rise of her chest as she took her first deep, gulping breath. _Nothing._

"Come back to me." Ben pleads, giving her a light shake in his arms. _"Please._ I know you're in there, somewhere. Find your way back."

Ben glances around himself, wishing more than anything for there to be _someone_ else, someone to help. The voices in his head were quiet, as they had been ever since Palpatine's demise. Once upon a time, he greatly respected those voices. They had given him the answers he needed when no one else seemed willing to give them.

He'd give anything to have those answers now.

Ben glanced mournfully over at the mirror, it's shiny reflective surface taunting him with the sight of himself cradling Rey, just as he was now. His reflection stared back at him, just as he was. It almost seemed like the mirror was simply doing what a mirror was supposed to do; reflect what was in front of it. Except, it wasn't. Because in its reflection, the Rey that was in his arms was looking up at him, quite clearly alive.

And if he looked down at the _real_ Rey in his arms right now, he'd see that she was very obviously-

Her eyes were open.

She looked tired, perhaps a bit confused and disoriented, but very much _alive._ She was blinking up at him, her face pulling into a concerned frown as she pulled herself up into a sitting position. It was all he could do but gape at her and, judging by the frown she was giving him, his wide-eyed expression must have been making her worry.

"Ben?" Rey called his name softly, placing a comforting and _solid_ hand on his shoulder. "Ben? Are you okay?"

"Am _I_ okay?" Ben croaked out, staring to her in disbelief.

Rey opened her mouth to respond, but didn't get a chance to when Ben pulled her into his arms, wrapping her up in a bone-crushing hug. His arms shook as he held her, pulling her as close to himself as possible like he feared she would leave him again if he didn't hold her tight enough.

"Hey, I'm okay." Rey's muffled assurance came from where her face was buried in his shoulder, rubbing a comforting hand up and down his back. Her words and touch were enough for Ben to finally pull away from her, if only to gaze upon her face once more, reassuring himself that she was still here in his arms. "I'm fine, I'm here, I-"

Rey was interrupted as Ben's hand came up to cradle her face, pulling her closer so her lips met his in a messy clash of teeth. Rey winced slightly at the painful movement, breathing out a bit of a giggle against his mouth and feeling his lips pull into a smile at the sound of her laughter.

She raised a hand to his chest to gently push him away, feeling her chest shake with repressed bouts of laughter.

"You're not very good at this, you know." She teased him gently, taking in the sight of his carefree smile.

"I haven't exactly had much experience." Ben joked back in his defense, letting his smile widen enough to display a toothy smile.

"Neither have I." Rey told him softly, copying his earlier stance as she placed her hands delicately on the sides of his face, returning his beaming smile with her eyes locked onto his own, eyes that gazed down at her with such an intense level of adoration. "Guess that's another thing we'll figure out together."

Rey pulled him closer in a much smoother and fluid motion. Her lips moved against his softly, calmer than his frenzied and desperate attempts. Yet still, she was pouring as much as herself into the kiss as she could, just as he was. Ben's whole posture seemed to relax in her hold, melting into her as his hands came up to rest against her back, pulling her even closer.

Rey pulled away from him with a shuddering breath, softly resting her forehead against his own as she caught her breath. Her eyes flickered open to watch him for a moment; his eyes closed with the most content look she had seen on him. Ben bathed in the warmth of her skin against his own, a startlingly harsh difference from when he was holding her body mere moments before, her skin having become cool to the touch.

"How about we get out of this place?" She whispers to him, her hushed voice pulling his eyes open. "Let's go home."

Ben cocked his head slightly at this, eyebrows pinched in a frown yet a smile still stuck across his face.

"And where are we going to find _home?"_

Rey felt the corner of her lips twitch at his question, tugging on his hand to bring him up to stand with her, gazing out of the cave entrance to the night sky of Ahch-To and to the infinite stars across the galaxies shining down on them.

"We'll figure that out together, too"

* * *

Ben came to a stop in front of the Millennium Falcon, inches away from stepping onto the weathered and rusty ship. Rey had strolled aboard like she owned it, which, Ben figured she did now. Although she'd probably have to contest that with Chewie...

His feet were frozen on the landing door, staring up to the entrance of the ship. Rey had sensed his hesitance, having come to a stop just at the top, placing a hand on the doors support bar as she watched his internal struggle.

"I imagine it's been a while since you've been here. "

"Yes... Quite some time..." Ben agreed, an unsettling feeling creeping through his body as he stared past Rey and into the dark hallways of the Falcon.

"Bad memories?" Rey guesses

"Good ones, too. " Ben replies, finally gathering the courage to move his feet forward, comforted by Rey’s encouraging smile as he reaches her side. "Usually depends on how I'm feeling when I'm looking back at them."

Being back aboard the Falcon felt like looking around an old and decrepit childhood home. It was, technically. If he wanted to spend any time with his father growing up, he would have to do so within the confines of this ship. She had been his father's pride and joy, and sometimes Ben felt like he loved the thing more than he had loved him. Perhaps that had been why he had grown to resent the Falcon as much as he had. He couldn't look at the Falcon without seeing his father. She represented everything that he was, both the good and the bad, and it had become impossible not to look at her and be reminded of all the times he had spent with him.

And even if those had been _good_ times, his mind had been soaked in the dark so much that he simply couldn't see it that way. If anything, it had only fueled the hatred he had felt for his father, even after his death. Especially since it would remind him of why he had felt so conflicted about the death of Han Solo, when he knew he shouldn't. Or, at least, when he was being _told_ that he shouldn't.

Despite the large chunk of time that had passed since he last stepped foot in this place, roaming around her maze-like rooms came as easy as breathing, his instincts seemingly guiding him to wherever he needed to go. Rey seemed just as natural as navigating the old ship as he was, bouncing between different rooms with ease, tinkering with whatever she felt necessary as she went. Ben was quite content to watch her as she went, seeing how she moved around the ship with purpose, so focused on whatever task she was doing that he sometimes wondered if she forget he was even there.

She looked like she was at home.

It became easier, more comfortable, the longer he spent just... Walking around. Yes, this ship held so many memories, reminded him of a time when the scary voices in his head were no more than just that, foolishly believing that they could do nothing to him, not when he had Han Solo as his father, not when he had Leia Organa as his mother. And certainly not when he knew he would be sent to Uncle Lukes, to train and become a mystical and brave Jedi just as his uncle was, just as was expected of him-

"Ben?"

Ben snapped out of his thoughts at the call of his name, glancing down to see he had a death grip on what was once his father's seat in the cockpit. Rey was stood a little off to his side, craning her neck slightly to catch his eye, a worried frown pulling at her face.

"What's on your mind?"

Ben couldn't help but chuckle lightly at that, moving around to the front of the cockpit and running a hand down its console, feeling the click of various buttons under his hands.

"Too much right now." Ben answered honestly, taking a seat in the co-pilot's seat with a heavy sigh, turning his equally heavy gaze up to look at Rey. "Can't say I ever expected to be back here. "

"I think it's only right." Rey told him. "It is yours, after all."

Ben frowned up at her

"Mine? No, its-"

"I think she'll always be Han's, really." Rey interrupted him, once again reading his mind. "Your father was as much as part of the ship as the ship was part of him. You may not see it, but there's a part of him that lives in you too. I'm sure that... That before everything happened, Han had always planned to pass her onto you once... Once he was gone."

"I don't... I don't _deserve_ that privilege." Ben mumbled, tearing his gaze away from Rey to stare down at the floor

Rey broke his line of sight with the floor by crouching directly in front of him, forcing his eye to once again meet hers.

"You deserve more than you know, Ben Solo." Rey insisted, placing a comforting hand on his knee. "And if you refuse to believe that? Then prove yourself wrong. Go out there, and make a difference. Make right what you've done wrong. _You_ may have done a lot of bad, but _we_ can do a lot of good. And you'll be needing a reliable ship to help you do that."

"I don't think she'll ever truly be _mine._ Not when she already has an owner for herself."

"I'm not-"

"Oh, but you are." Ben cut her off with a stern nod. "You'll take much better care of this ship than I ever could. I'm positive that _Han--Dad--,_ threw a fit when he first caught you flying her, but I'm sure that dad would find a way to come back just to yell at me for taking her from you."

"But...It just doesn't sit well with me."

"What doesn't?"

"It only feels right for the Falcon to pass from one Solo to the next."

The corner of Ben's lips curled into a small smile at that, his eyes flickering down to where her hand still rested on his knee, gently scooping her hand into his own and running his thumb leisurely down the side of her hand simply because he can.

"Well, if you're in need of crew, you could always have a Solo as your co-pilot." Ben offered quietly, his eyes nervously flittering between her inquisitive gaze and their joined hands. "If you'll have me, that is."

"Ben?"

"Yes?"

"That might just be the stupidest thing you've ever asked me."

Ben shook his head as he laughed at her response, feeling more relieved by it than he would dare show, that part of him he tried to keep buried down that was scared she would reject him. It wouldn't exactly be the first time if she had...

No. No, it would. Because she had even said it herself.

She had refused to take Kylo’s hand, and the hand of the man who was torn between who he once was, and who he was now.

"Rey-" Ben called her name once their laughter had begun to die off. "I... I need to know..."

"Know what?"

Ben opened his mouth to respond, but closed it again once he realized he couldn't find the right words to say. His jaw shifted unconsciously as his thought, struggling to meet her gaze even when her eyes were trying to meet his.

"Somethings... Different." Ben settled on. "I can feel it, within myself. And I know you can feel it, too."

Rey pulled her hand from his, dropping her hand off his knee and pushing herself up to a stand, taking a few steps back until she hit the front of the Pilots seat. Sitting down on its worn cushions, she gave a small nod of her head.

"What do you feel?" She asks

"Like I'm not completely here." Ben answers. "I'm grounded now, I can feel that much. But at the same time, it's like... Its as if I'm still stuck there, simply existing in this dead state of being. Truth be told, I'm not entirely sure if I'm actually alive. Which has me wondering... How are _you_ alive, Rey? If you're even alive at all... "

"What else do you feel?"

Ben frowned, his eyes narrowing as he thought upon her cryptic question.

"What else do I feel?"

"There's something else, isn't there." Rey encouraged him to search deeper. "Just... Take a moment to _really_ think about how you feel." 

"I-" Ben was about to say that he really couldn't feel a difference when something within himself stopped him.

"I'm... Content... " Ben spoke the last word slowly, unsure. "Everything feels almost... Clearer? More in control, I... I feel _good._ Kind of like there's a part of me that's...Missing. Something bad."

"Not missing, but replaced."

"Rey... What did you do?"

"What I had to do. What the Force wanted me to. I didn't know what would happen, once I brought you back. Whether I would live or die. I was certain that as long as I kept our bond alive, that I fed my energy _through_ it, to you, that I might just have a chance."

"But you still died." Ben pointed out, wincing slightly at the reminder

"No."

"No?"

"Not entirely. Same as I am now. Same as we both are."

"Are you... Are you saying that we're both dead?"

"I thought it only fair that if we were to share a bond, we should share the same fate. When I transferred a part of myself, you sent a part of yourself _back_ to me." Rey explained. "You were bound to this plane of existence, trapped between two states, of life and death. All because you were bound to _me."_

"So you gave me a part of yourself?"

"Yes. I gave a part of me that was _alive_ I gave you life. But then, I was missing a part of me. Half of me was gone, and I couldn't exist within the force in that state. And you, you couldn't take that extra part, not without breaking off a piece of yourself."

"We...We transferred our life states...We replaced a part of ourselves with the other... "

"I gave you a part that was alive, and you gave me a part of you that was dead. We both share the same existence, now. Half of us dead, half of us alive. Only tied to this universe and able to exist because the Force has bound us together."

"Kriff, Rey, you...Why would you do that yourself? We have no idea what this could do to you. Taking a part of me that's _dead,_ integrating that into your being, it's-"

Ben's panicked thoughts came to a sudden stop as a horrible realization hit him, turning fearful eyes to Rey who was watching him with an equally worried expression.

"You asked me how I felt because you wanted to know if I could tell there was a piece of you within me, didn't you?" Ben guessed, getting a small nod in response. "But it's not just that, is it? The piece of me you took, the piece that's missing, that's affected me too. In a _good_ way. Rey... What part of me did you take?"

"I took a part of you that was truly dead." Rey answered quietly. "I took a piece of your darkness away. I took a part of Kylo Ren."

The cockpit of the Millennium Falcon fell into an uncomfortable silence, stretching on long enough that Rey found it impossible to hold Ben's intense and sorrowful gaze any longer, instead looking down to her hands in her lap, absentmindedly fiddling with her fingers.

"Can you..." Ben broke the silence. "Can you... _feel_ him?"

"Yes, I can." Rey answered truthfully, finding no reason to lie to Ben on this matter. "It's not all that different. It feels a bit like... Well, you. When the force first connected us. But now he's... He's a lot calmer. He feels more at peace. Subdued."

"I'm so sorry." Ben muttered miserably. "You shouldn't have done any of this, Rey. Shouldn't have to live with such a fate, I... I'm sorry I did this to you."

"I made this decision, Ben. Only me. And if I knew of what was going to happen before I had done it, it wouldn't make a difference.  
Life is all about making sacrifices for what's most important to you, and don't you think for a second that you're not worth that kind of sacrifice, Ben.  
I'm willing to take a bad part of you, if it means I can have the rest of you by my side."

Ben didn't know what else to do, other than to stare at her in dumbfoundment, his mouth sealed closed as a sense of speechlessness settled in. The thought that _any_ person would be willing to give up so much, a part of their very being, for _him?_ It just didn't seem possible.

"Rey, you might have just changed your whole life, just to bring me back. You gave me a _part_ of yourself."

"I did." Rey confirmed, squinting her eyes at him in an obvious challenge, daring him to try and argue further with her on the subject.

"You sacrificed a piece of yourself, something I don't think I can ever give back. But I promise I'll do everything I can, spend the time I have in the life you've given me, to make sure your sacrifice wasn't a waste."

"So long as you live the rest of your life as the man that's in front of me? That made that kind of a promise? Then I can say for certain it would _never_ be a waste."

Before Ben could respond to that, Rey spun around in her seat to face the console of The Millennium Falcons cockpit, flicking and turning various switches, pushing different colored buttons and lights until the cockpit was filled with the sound of the Falcons engines powering to life, a satisfied smile on her face as she leaned back into her seat.

"So... What now?" Rey asked him with a smile

Ben gave himself a moment to memorize her face in this moment, feeling his own smile begin to form as he mirrors her excitement for the future. One that, if the mirror had been truthful, would be one they would spend together. Of course, he could always help push things in that direction. After all, he had always wanted to visit his grandmother's home planet...

"I think I have an idea."


End file.
